FHLSWOBFFLAH

2011-08-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

Looks like another year has passed since my last post, and WOW have things changed since. I lambasted twitter in that post, and since then, I myself have become a twitter whore! Yep i check my twitter on my BlackBerry every 30 mins. Dig that.

What hasn't changed is the fact that SMRT STILL SUCKS. After reaping in even greater profits (after tax and increases in fuel costs) they have got the nerve to once again inpose fee hikes for your poor everyday commuter. I'll said it once an i'll say it again, FUCK YOU SMRT!

And apparently another there was another case of trespassing and vandalism at one of their train depots. When will those idiots learn.... The best part about it though, is the fact that they have assigned an 'independent' committee to look into the matter. BUT SERIOUSLY MAN. How can it be considered independent when the CEO of SMRT IS CHAIRING THE COMMMITTEE HERSELF!??!?!

source http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1148430/1/.html

We Singaporeans are not stupid. Yes, sometimes we are gullible or a little naive, BUT NOT STUPID.

If you idiots at SMRT need more cash despite your record profits, falling levels of service and constant overcrowding on buses and trains, THEN JUST SAY SO.

Tell it to us straight, and give us statements like "There is no justification for fare increases, and you won't see improvements in our public transport system anytime soon, but we want more money from each and everyone of you because we have a monopoly and you have no choice," AND "the review committee set up is chaired by our own CEO and thus is anything BUT independent, we just want to come up with a conclusion that doesn't sound too harsh on ourselves."

Who knows SMRT, maybe we'd be LESS PISSED at you for not coming up with your usual INSANE BULLSHIT and expecting us to buy into any of it. It wouldn't make you any less shitty, but hey, I'd value the honesty.

Get bent, SMRT.

2010-07-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

FUCK YOU SMRT. Distance fares can kiss my ass.

Seriously, as if the constant fare hikes weren't enough, you had to find a new way to implement even more fucked up fares and the best part about it is, you fuckers can't even admit that your fucking 'distance fares' are just a SCAM to RIP PASSENGERS OFF.

What about your ridiculous claim that 70% of all passengers' journeys will cost less?

My home to city, COSTS MORE
My home to camp, COSTS MORE
My home to friend's place,COSTS MORE
My home to swimming pool downstairs, COSTS THE SAME BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY FUCKING PLACE I CAN'T TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT TO.

So what would you have me do? just swim for the rest of my life?

FUCK THE ENVIRONMENT AND FUCK PUBLIC TRANSPORT. I hope every citizen (who has not been brainwashed) will join me in my 1 commuter, 1 car project.

BOYCOTT the trains and buses and lrts and shit. just take your fucking car out and DRIVE. DON'T EVEN CAR POOL.

Public transport blows.

And have you seen the ridiculous ad campaigns?

Here's something that caught my eye in the papers.

FUCK YOUR STUPID RIP OFF OF TWITTER

more like smrt is over capacity right?

FUCK YOUR STUPID AD. your trains are too crowded as they are. why are you trying to further overcrowd them? Has anyone seen how fucked up trains from town are after 5 pm?

Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if you just stop sending out trains once every 10 fucking hours or so.

AND WHY WOULD YOU WANNA RIP OFF TWITTER ANYWAY?!?!

TWITTER IS A STUPID AS HELL APPLICATION FOR DUMBFUCKS AND BITCHES WHO THINK THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS SOOOO INTERESTED IN THEIR PATHETIC LIVES.

You know what is more stupid than twitter?

SMRT!

Maybe smrt should hire that swiss fellow to redesign their stupid trains, he did a better job than anyone else in their organisation.

2009-09-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

"If you see any suspicious-looking person or article, please inform our staff or press the emergency communication button.

YES PLEASE. I FUCKING HELL WANT TO REPORT THAT BANGLA WHO IS LEANING HIS ENTIRE BODY ON THE GRAB POLE.

My hand was already holding onto the damn pole ok, and this bloody fuck bangla just leans his body onto it. Worse, he's now occupying 2 of the 3 available grab poles (you know those poles that kinda seperate into 3 poles so more hands can hold onto them). Selfish prick. MY HAND WAS THERE FIRST WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LEAN YOUR BACK ONTO MY HAND.

I GET YOU DEPORTED THEN YOU KNOW.

Cheebye.

2009-03-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

WOO HOO NOBODY READS THIS BLOG ANYMORE YAY.
MY ENLISTMENT GOT FUCKING DELAYED TILL JULY SO I OFFICIALLY AM DEPRESSED AND IN THE MOOD TO KILL SOMEBODY!

If you see my hair on facebook add it yay!

FUCK
FUCKITY
FUCKITYFUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUCK!

peace!

2008-12-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm back by popular demand! Woohoo.

Thanks zac.

Topic of the day : Retarded christmas songs!

No, I'm not talking about the nice meaningful ones such as oh night divine or silent night.

I'm talking about manufactured rubbish which have absolutely no link to the true meaning of christmas whatsoever.

Such as Rudolph the red nose reindeer and that ANNOYING AS HELL song which goes 'All I want for christmas is my 2 front teeth...' BAH.

First off, Rudy the red nose. Why do I hate that song? Cos it's wrong on all levels. First the poor dear, oops, i mean, deer, is ostracized by his stupid reinpeer (that's short for reindeer peer for you numbnuts) . And once Santa, that useless slave driving fatass, decides he needs to use his foglight of a nose on a foggy christmas eve, all the reinpeer loved him as they shouted out with glee.

I mean WHAT THE HELL MAN. Is poor rudolph gonna just be happy? Just because the other reindeer suddenly wanna suck up to him now that he's the head honcho?

HELL NO. What about all the years where
they never let poor rudolph
join in any reindeer games?

He's gonna just let it slide like it's no big deal?

Well guess what. In real life rudolph woulda SUED their reindeer asses for hate and discrimination and psychological damage.

Then he woulda sued santa's fat ass for animal abuse, that's what it is.

.
.
.

And now to that even more idiotic 'all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth' song.

Does the asshole who wrote the song even know that it's wrong grammatically?

'All i want for christmas ARE my two front teeth, dumbass.'

THAT SONG SUCKS. And it's even more annoying when they get kids to sing it on their CDs, thinking it's cute and endearing.

Well guess what, IT'S SURE AS HELL NOT CUTE.

When I hear kids sing that song I swear I wanna punch even more teeth from their mouths down their annoying kiddy necks.

You'll be wanting dentures next Christmas sonny boy.

And it's worse when some idiot singaoprean gets singaporean kids to sing it on some locally made christmas CD.

What, you think having the singaporean accent in song would help you hawk more CDs?
IT DOESN'T, AND IT MAKES IT SOUND CHEAP AND DISGUSTING (more so than it already is).

AND THOSE HORRID KIDS CAN'T EVEN SING PROPERLY.

STOP GIVING US YOUR BULLSHIT CHRISTMAS MUSIC COS WE DON'T WANT IT.

2008-11-09T05:26:00.000-08:00

Well.....

I'm back, just because i sorta find this therapeutic even though no one reads this anymore. soo...
here goes.

a's have been sooo unbelievably fucked up. everything's so hard, and thank goodness it's not just me who finds it that way.

My family's been pissing me off too, i mean, fuck, they just booked a trip to japan.

I'VE BEEN IN ASIA ALL MY LIFE I WANNA GO JAPAN FOR WHAT.

IF I WANNA FLAMING EAT SUSHI I'D GO SUSHI TEI, or if i'm feeling rich, something better.

OMG so annoying!!! I've had it up to here with my stupid fucked up family.

Anyway. I am gonna blog about the top ten most annoying companies!! : )

Ok maybe not ten cos i haven't thought of ten yet.

In no particular order,

1) Osim

Osim, the epitome of home grown crap! How proud am I of osim, seriously.

First they come up with some gimmicky horse riding thing that looks fucking vulgar, and sell it to the most worthless lazy stupid fucks in the population claiming it to be an effective form of exercise.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! OVERPRICED NONSENSE.

Then, they come up with THIS rubbish.

WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE ARE STRESSED OVER MONEY AND SHIT YOU THINK THEY'LL BUY YOUR FUCKING EXPENSIVE HEAD MASSAGER AR.

STUPID FUCKERS.

Ok, honestly I am prejudiced against osim cos I study at this starbucks near my home and beside it there's an osim outlet with a big screen tv that they use to replay that fucked up noisy advertisment. FUCKING NOISY AND ANNOYING TO THE MAX.

.
.
.

I have a LOT more to write about. But no time tonight, must go watch Jay Leno now hee hee.

Next post (if I remember) will include Apple computers and that fucking annoying Brazilian restaurant on 6th avenue.

2008-09-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

What the hell, today I had to find out from ppl from other classes that the Math paper review was cancelled.

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE MAKE ANY ANNOUNCEMENT.

MATH TEACHER DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

LECTURER DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

IF I FUCKING SHOWED UP AT SCHOOL AT 9 am ON A PRISTINE SATURDAY MORNING ONLY TO FIND OUT CLASS WAS CANCELLED, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.

ATM. Annoying to max.

WaHaHaRs. WoRx.

OK whatever.

swtf.blogspot is proud to announce the result of this month's Cheebye of the month award.

Nominees are:
1) Barack NObama.
2) The fucking coffee bean & tea leaf outlet at rail mall + the fucking irritating manager.
3) Some prick in school who has been DAMN fucking annoying but I can't say anything.

.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
..

.

The winner is....

From the substandard service to the annoying indian manager who constantly bugs the students not to study (even when the whole fucking place is almost empty during breakfast hours), you'll find your own unique reason to hate the place.

Which is why I go to the coffee bean at guthrie's to study despite the closer proximity of the rail mall to my home.

CB rail mall can fuck off.

2008-09-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ok i have had it with eating, I've become this disgusting flabby unmotivated piece of shit. And somehow I seem to have decided not to exercise for the rest of my life, boo.

That being said, I am still incredibly sexy.

OKOK blog ranting time.

Couple days ago was on this bus, and this cheeena asshole was sitting beside me, kept talking to his friend in chinese and kept looking in my direction like they were trying to make fun of me or something.

And omg so fucked up that guy had a half mullet. WTF who has that type of hairdo now. To top it off he was wearing what obviously was a fake armani exchange shirt.

See that's what i hate about taking public transport, you get to see all sorts of fucked up people, and you get to hear them too, like the uncles so yell into their cellphones 'LE TIA BO?!?!' (which is some dialect (i don't know, ooohhh bracket within a bracket) for 'can you hear')

OBVIOUSLY THE FUCKER ON THE OTHER LINE CAN HEAR RIGHT, HE CAN HEAR EVEN IF HE'S DEAF YOU DUMB SHIT. PRACTICALLY SCREAMING INTO THE PHONE.

And yesterday this fucking annoying bunch of 4 girls at the back of the bus, (all ma*ay), sibeh noisy can. One of them was yelling vulgarities into her phone THROUGHOUT the half hour I was in the bus. So noisy I wanted to cream her face.

What the fuck is wrong with public transport, seriously, so pissing off.

Which brings me to another point.

If you haven't heard, some cheeebye hwa chong alumni members want to have the future duchess M.RT station renamed 'hwa chong' sta,tion. (I am not giving them the pleasure of that name being spelt out in caps)

How grotesquely egotistical is that, and what a hopeless bunch of fucking losers!

Seriously, NOBODY likes Hwa Ching, oops I mean chong, and all changing the name would do is further attract terrorists who are plotting to bom,b some mrt line to do so right there!

Imagine if you were a terrorist.

You wanna bom,b the m.rt and kill some people.

So you may as well bom,b somewhere where the people tend to be annoying.

That way, less genuinely nice people would die. And all the anoyances would perish.

So bomb hwa ching sta.tion!

Perfect location, perfect targets!

Oh yes I am disrupting certain words with comas and full stops so that people can't just google them.

ciaos.

2008-08-26T05:27:00.000-07:00

Sup y'all.

Prelims are winding down, my only paper left is bio paper one, so I'm starting to take things easy.

This weekend is han's birthday and paul wants to meet for a movie with the usual peoplel, fucking hell i thought it would never come.

It still bloody might not cos of the usual stupid croppy stuff.

But whatever haha!

Gonna ask Leon haven't seen the bugger in damnnn freaking long!

And to all who've wished me good luck one way or other, thank you, sorry for neglecting you, I've been unsuccessfully trying to study.

Haven't been able to do much recently so I've got nothing to rant about.

hmm.
I think I'm actually satisfied with life!! yes.

even if i AM gonna fail prelims, what the hell!

2008-08-10T06:37:00.001-07:00

this. fucking. blows. I miss everyone.

2008-08-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

PLANK IN YOUR FUCKING EYE
PLANK IN YOUR FUCKING EYE.

Eh that sounds nice, 'plank in your fucking eye' i should write a song dayum!

2008-08-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

<----- fake beeyotch

Hahaha i love it, took it of dwy.

Just to let you know, even if it doesn't matter to any of you, that I support xiaxue. Dawn Yang is a disgusting slut, hope the plastic falls off her freaky face. hahaha.

This blog has like 3 readers so good luck if she wants to sue me too for calling her that. :)
http://theliesofdawn.blogspot.com/

Go read, she's such a whore!

Xiaxue writes so much better, plus her psle is 269, what's there not to respect and like?

One day I'll meet dawn in real life and throw an egg at her face! So called 'pretty' bitch.

I can totally imagine her using a cactus to rub herself. eeew and ahhaha.

Wow it's been really long since I wrote a malicious post about someone who hasn't done anything wrong against me directly.

Oh wait, she did just that by being a whore!! :)

2008-08-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

Hello hoi yan, sorry it took so long, been busy mugging or wasting time!

Ok topic of the day: People who take fucking long at the ATM or Cash Deposit Machines.

I think the title speaks for itself. Nabeh what the fuck.

I remember some time last year, I was at DBS holland V gonna put some cash into my account. there was this cheebye old fuckface in front of me. The asshole was depositing like $200.

EXCEPT THE BLAZING FUCKTARD PUT THEM IN ONE $10 NOTE AT A TIME, TOOK OUT HIS ATM CARD, AND REPEATED.

20 FUCKING TIMES.

Please, stupid asshole, it's not as if the machine will rip you off right. Even if there is a miscalculation you can always choose the 'do not deposit' option instead of pressing 'confirm' after counting.

NOT AS IF YOU TAKE HALF AN HOUR THE MACHINE WILL REWARD YOU WITH MORE INTEREST LIKE THAT.

Fucking inconsiderate time wasting mother cheebye.

Hope you spend your last days forgotten by your next-of-kin at some old folk's home in some ulu corner of singapore.

Better yet, pulau brani or any of the weird islands that belong to singapore but no one actually uses.

2008-07-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

candida the bitch sent me for detention today.

and i didn't go.

and i couldn't care less.

it's about fucking time i got a demerit point anyway.

2008-06-19T08:27:00.001-07:00

Screw. In the past 6 days I've spent like $70 at Coffee bean and Starbucks!!! Screw.
Nice, and to think I wonder why I'm broke all the time! NICE NO MORE SPENDING MONEY ON COFFEE FOR ME FOR THE NEXT YEAR! Or hot choc for that matter.

Today I went with Shi Han and Charissa to chill at Christopher's place, I hardly get to do so because he fucking stays at tanah merah haha. I'm gonna get GTA liberty city for myself, it looks awesome!!! There's even full episodes of funny shows you can watch in the game when you purchase a tv set.

I've stopped using ATMs by the way, partly because I'm flat broke and partly because I don't like it at the end when it says, 'Please take your card or it will be retained'.

THAT FREAKING MEANS SOMEONE LEFT ME IN THE ATM CARD SLOT, KENA RETAINED.

hahaha, watevvv, it's the 3rd last day of the june hols, meaning I'VE GOT TO START MY HOLIDAY HOMEWORK NOW.

START.

2008-06-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

NICE SHIT.

Fuck lah damn pissed, I MISS BOJANGLES.

(In case you don't know, bojangles is this Pub/Bar/Cafe that used to be at the rail mall, nice little place, until it got taken over by coffee bean. )

Anyway, I was studying at the coffee bean with jeremy, having paid like 13 freaking bucks for our two drinks. It was 10.50pm, before the kitchen was to close for the night, when the freaking cheebye indian manager comes up to us and tells us that, i quote, "they need the tables and chairs".

What the fuck there were two other empty tables near me, and NO NEW CUSTOMERS were coming in. What a dumb shit. The fucker also told us that studying was not allowed in their indoor area.

OH SO WHAT IF I DIDN'T STUDY BUT JUST TOOK MY LAPTOP IN AND SAT THERE FOR 4 HOURS, WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!?!?

Shit I just realised they screwed me out of the $1 discount I shoulda got when I ordered my large ice blended as a cardmember.

Bitches.

2008-06-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

Your love for God is seen through your love for people.

HAHAHA, so YOU, a Christian??!!??

It doesn't show, seriously it doesn't show, you miserable little bitch.

.
.
.

Anyway, thanks to Brian for being such a great host, though the next time I can have such fun will be after the A's....

<3 cell retreat hahaha

.
.
.

I'm probably gonna retire from blogging, I have zero motivation to do anything.

THEY REMOVED MY TAGBOARD------------------------------->

2008-06-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Change You Should Not Believe In.

Ok, imagine this scenario.

Barack Obama is an older, fatter, whiter man.

He does everything else exactly the same.

Would he be the democratic nominee?

HELL NO!

People are voting for him simply because he's black, or because it's the cool thing to do, and it annoys the hell out of me, even though I have nothing to do with America.

He's done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in American politics.

God Bless America should they vote him as President on the basis of 'change', because they are seriously gonna need it...

P.S. Yes I do think Obama's an idiot who wouldn't score above 200 should he sit for my PSLE paper. I, on the other hand, scored 263.

Believe it bitches.

2008-05-16T04:28:00.001-07:00

aslkdfhlakdglkashglhaslgkaslkghasklfhglaksdfhglahflgh

FUCKING HELL LAH.

DON'T PISS ME OFF.

2008-05-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

I'm swearing off CNN and BBC for 2 months because it's doing nothing but depressing me.

All there is to watch are Natural disasters and suicide bombings and car bombings.

And that annoying barack obama.

Just five minutes ago BBC was reporting on the China earthquake and they showed the crying orphans who queued up to meet the Chinese PM.

And after that they showed this pitiful looking elderly couple digging through the ruins of what used to be their home to look for scraps of corn to feed their one year old grandson (I'm presuming the mom and dad died in the quake).

POOR THINGS!!!!

Even cruel heartless people like me feel so bad for them.

I feel really depressed.

Maybe instead of buying the new tennis racket I want, I should give whatever I've saved to the poor homeless and dying people...

Yeah.
:(

:(

2008-05-09T07:09:00.001-07:00

what a week eh,

tell me about it.

I'm so sorry

2008-04-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

It's been some time eh, ah well too bad for you, lets get started.

Got my freaking annoying wisdom tooth removed last friday, and although the dentist said it would stop bleeding after an hour or so, the freaking blood kept oozing for like 6 hours after surgery, and although the bleeding subsided, it carried on until 3 days later. I probably lost like one liter of blood I swear.

I'm not sorry if you're eating dinner and reading this by the way.

Everyone tells me this looks like m*****, but it's really just a bit of the blood that I kept spitting out into the toilet. I say 'a bit' because prior to taking this picture I had flushed the toilet 5 or 6 times and each time, there was way more blood than there is to show here, so really, this is just a fraction of the freaking gore.

Anyway the next day joined the book out of confinement people for dinner like an hour late thanks to the 2 hour ride to town thanks to the blooming idiot who caused the massive jam on the PIE.

Yep the usuals were there, char me xw ian jerome han marcus koh and chris.

Nice night :) looking forward to the next one.

I TRIED I'M SORRY HAN IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAME SO FUCKING LATE.

School has been annoying the crap outta me, take for instance, the disgusting NSK girls pictured here, there were in the level 3 com lab sitting opposite me and were making this din, shouting to each other about buying some stupid NSK style bags online from what was probably some shitass spree they think is cool.

The stupid loud bitches were fucking irritating and were not making any effort to shut the fuck up, they kept saying things like "Ask if we ship together can give us cheaper rate", and BEST STILL, one of them went "let's all buy the same bag and set a trend in school"

YARKS!!! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY DESPICABLE YOU NEIGHBOURHOOD SCHOOL BITCH.
WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN COME INTO AC FROM SOME SHITASS NON-ELITE SCHOOL AND CAUSE US SUCH EMBARASSMENT BY SIMPLY BEING YOURSELF?

Go do everyone a favour and jump off a cliff. Preferably a not-so-high cliff so that I can watch you squirm in agony before I stomp out your pathetic little life.

The guily culprits are those in the PE attire. Look like shit. Smell like shit. Are shit.
Despite everyone else in the lab making 'sssshhhhhhhh' sounds they kept intentionally kept their chattering levels super loud.

So in the end, something like this happened, when my head was resting on the com table as I tried to take a nap....

Random stupid shithead girl number 1 (loudly): Eeee this one very ugly.
Me (not facing them but loud enough for them to hear): Not only ugly but very noisy as well
....silence....
RSSGN2: Eh eh eh this one this one this one this one
Me (getting annoyed): This one should really shut the fuck up
RSSGN1: whatever...
Me : That's the spirit, neighbourhood school shit.
RSSGN3 : scared lah, scared lah
Me : Yah I think they better be, so noisy and disrespectful
RSSGN3 : whatever...
Me : And such a limited vocabulary from speaking their mother tongue the whole day

Well, too bad I had a lecture to attend and had to leave. I don't even remember what they look like.

But as the stupid shithead girl number 3 said... whatever...

On to the construction of our beloved CPA which should have been ready for use more than one year ago.

The contractor blames the bad weather.

But I blame the lousy turds of construction workers who sit there all day and laze about, doing little or no work, or better still, smoking.

How the hell they can afford cigarettes absolutely boggles my mind.

Ah well. Yesterday was free cone day and someone had this really bright idea to go to the bnj's at dempsey. So we all cabbed there and realised it wasn't available there, and paid $21 + service charge + GST for a pathetic merlionster.

Nice one lah! hahahahaha

2008-04-20T01:54:00.001-07:00

This is to Josh, one of the best friends a guy could ever have.

Josh, I've never said this, cos every week when I see you, you seem fine, and though we've both been busy and not really gone out for some time, I just want you to know that I'm here for you.

I know it's a harsh time for you right now, and I hope I'm not wrong for doing this, but I know, and I never ask, never speak a word of it because you never have, and you never seemed to have.

I just pray that God will be there with you and your family and really hope things will turn out well no matter how bad people around me tell me the situation is.

The whole bunch of us have grown up together, have faith cos we'll all be right here for you.

2008-04-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

And so Shi Han, Marcus Koh and Han Loong went in today, and all of a sudden I'm feeling pretty lost and sad.

I'm gonna miss the bunch of them like hell. Like everybody else who goes in.

Don't know what it'll be like without being able to just pick up the phone and give kid a ring, just to talk crap whenever I want to.

Things have changed so much, didn't seem like too long ago that shi han was hurling test tubes to the back of the 4.3 classroom wall.

Haha good times.

It's been kinda sad for me to see all my friends go in one by one, all starting the next chapter in their life. Ah well. Life's full of funny shiz i guess.

On a brighter note, the ocs people come out this weekend after their mega confinement!

Haha not as if I can go out, but good to know none the less.

What the shit am I saying. hahahah

2008-04-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound

2008-04-03T03:53:00.001-07:00

people said i have changed, i'm not my old self, and that i'm an evil fucking cunt now.

so today i took the first step to changing back to my old self by changing bag. i brought my old bag to school.

i realise it must be because of the show off sexy new handbag that i've been carrying around. that must be it. tsktsk. the things that handbags can do to you.....

2008-04-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm so grateful for Reuben, thanks for everything tonight and thanks for being such a great friend to talk to, plus thanks for staying 30 secoonds away from me haha.

I'll always be there to share your problems too man.

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

2008-04-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

It's like venom from Spiderman 3,

"I don't even know who you are anymore"

"you've changed"

only, I haven't, and even if I did, I've tried to change back for the better and no one sees it nor do they give two fucks so................

If all of you fucking hate me then fine FUCK off, fall over a cliff and die cos I don't have time to DEEAAAAALLL with all this shit + your bullcrap at the same time.

Oh hey! I realised 'this' and 'shit' share the same alphabets hahahaha

Funny shit.

2008-04-01T04:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and baby then you'll see
A different side of me.

I miss acs (i) like shit now

I miss when people didn't judge and pressure you

I miss having ryan, shi han, paul and cus around
Hell, I even miss Keith wong.

Some people I can trust with my life, 100%.

I know that you are concerned, and I totally appreciate it but I'm getting freaked out and today was probably the worst day of school IN THE PAST 3 YEARS cos I really have no idea what to do, and hell if I'm meant to cry cos I'm 19 years old. Thanks denise for being a friend.

I haven't done anything malicious to harm anyone. So if the losers in class who don't really care about me are gonna look at me in a different light and start hating me or judging me or saying crap about what they think I'm going through without knowing the facts, then I can afford to friendships with such losers.

Truth is I'm under a lot of pressure and it's been a tough year, I still hurt from some things I went through in the last 18 months.

So in the coming days I'll just see who's there for me. Thanks in advance to those who will be.

Now.
I got a chem test tmr which i actually have to study for.
And it's not a fucking april fool's joke. bye.

2008-03-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've so much to say and so little time.

Some people think I'm abusing the whole cf thing, and I admit I might be, but really I'm not proud of it, I truly wanna be a better person.

It's been a fun couple of weeks, zouk with Charissa, Xin Wei, Jerome, Tammie, Ian, Cus, Eileen, Kwok Ming and Mike Bong, the whole gang ;)

cafe Del Mar with xun, samuel see, and charissa Ian Jerome Xinwei again,

The sleepless stayover with Marcus k, Reubs and char! :)

Mahjong + stayover with char and jeremy t,

To some extent, fuckorama.

Got a lot of pics to upload but that'll wait till another day...

some older pics i've been to lazy to put up here.....

Its been awesome fun, and I really have to study!!!

To all my friends, esp gerald, sorry if I can't make myself more available to go out with you guys, hope you all understand, you're free, but it's high time for me to mug.. So.... Love you guys and hope to see ya when I can.

P.s. Jerome all the best with ur ankle!

2008-03-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

Love, Hate, Give, Take

Well today was funorama, and it was fucking awesome and fucking bad.

Bad parts first, it was so freaking crowded and messy and shiz, and I FUCKING LOST MY VOICE, NO THANKS TO THAT FUCKING BITCH MISS YU BEING SUCH A DEMANDING BITCH STRESSING ME OUT YTD WHEN I TOLD HER LOUD AND CLEAR I WAS STARTING TO FEEL SICK.

Bitch. whatever, so from a bad throat, I can hardly speak at all now. I sound ri-fuckin-diculous, like nails on a chalkboard,

FUCKING VIRAL ILLNESS THE VIRUS IS SHEDDING, LIKE BRIGHT GREEN LUMINOUS PHLEGM SHEDDING.

To top it off the food committee not only managed to get on my nerves by freaking dirtying my microwave like shit by not using plates and microwaving the ghee-laden prata DIRECTLY onto my microwave tray base, THEY SOMEHOW FOUND A WAY TO DESTROY IT COMPLETELY as in it just fucking doesn't work no more.

My poor 6 year old microwave... I feel so sentimentally attached to it sia.....

shit lah, forget it lah i'll let it slide, but if miss yu brings up the FUCKING ten dollar thing again i swear i'll whoop her ass with it.

Dunno if it's a plus or minus point, but Charissa and I were super amused at Candida and her mystery male counterpart walking about. Haha he was quite ugly, a lot of teachers have ugly bfs/gfs... I won't say cos a particular PE teacher reads this very blog ;)

But I pity the poor dude if he really ends up marrying that pussy fungus....

OK lugging the freaking bag asss microwave and ice box to school and my stupid sickness aside, I have to say that queueing for sc1's haunted house was such a freaking waste of time and money please, I wanted to kick that annoying-as-hell robindro's ass when he went, 'where's my Cheryl, bring me to my Cheryl...'

I almost yelled ' I can't bring you Cheryl, but i can sure as hell bring you an ass kicking, asswipe!'

HAHAHHAHAHAHA LOVE MYSELF FOR SAYING THAT.

Ok but I don't regret funorama, I saw most of my ACJ3 friends there, plus so many of my old ACS (I) friends showed up, and I was freakin happy to see all of them again. Being a lonely retainee it was pretty nice to see some old faces back in school again, as well as some I havent really seen since leaving the hallowed halls of (independent) over 2 years ago.

Miss ACS(I) so badly now......
To all my acs(i)an friends, especially those who came back,

Love you all,
Sing ACS forevermore

I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)I LOVE ACS(I)
I LOVE ACS(I)

Hahahaha ;)

Anyway I'm still feeling pretty under the weather. Had a nice MJ session with my brothers and charissa, but I fucking didnt win a single round tonight.

Okok I know this will just inflate his ego, but yan xun did such a great job at the squash match against ACS(I) ytd, even though ACJC received some sort of ass whooping.

Wow, coming back from 2 sets down to win, you've finally gained my respect.

Respect is earned, bitches!

2008-03-27T09:55:00.001-07:00

4 years ago I would never imagine that i'd become the fat lazy dumb unmotivated s****** drinking shit that i am today.

Today a couple of close friends told me that my nonsense made them lose some respect for me.

Well it's time to come clean, I can't blame them, I've kinda lost whatever respect I've had for myself as well. the respect I got for myself when as a 12 year old I got pretty good PSLE results I worked real hard for.

the respect I earned myself when I could pull myself to work towards goals, like running :)

And the respect I got knowing full well that I was the best, nicest, sweetest little kid I could be.

.
.
.

ah fuck it all that's down the drain now, all thats left for me to do is enjoy youth and die early

this fellow is fucked someone slap some sense into him.

please.

2008-03-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

Fuck you and you. Fucking man whore I used to respect.
And the other one the shameless whore.

I need to VENT VENT VENT.

Cheebye over my dead body I am too fucking good a friend for this shit.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

sd;gkskrio]

You know what. FUCK OFF YOU MANIPULATIVE VENTING PIECE OF SHIT

VENT VENT VENT VENT VENT VENT VENT till your lan jiao rots off.

SHAMELESS TO THE MAX.

AND FUCK OFF I DONT CARE IF I DONT HAVE TIME TO BLOG I WONT.

NO MORE ZOUK FOREVER, THAT BEING TILL AFTER A's

FAREWELL PEOPLE WHO WENT IN

(Chris and josh K miss you guys)

gasdklflagjsd;;akjg;asjhdg

FUCK LAH YOU REALLY NEVER GONNA GAIN BACK MY TRUST YOU CRAZY FUCKER.

Another one, at least you took care of poor drunk me last night so you're ok.

djklfhsj;adg;jash;H;AF

jUST DONT GET CLOSE TO THAT POMPOUS FUCKER

2008-03-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

aRRRGGHHH Ranting time!

To all guys out there, how many times have you entered the men's room needing a piss only to be greeted by this puddle of piss in front of the urinals?

FUCKING DISGUSTING PLEASE.

Fuck the motherfuckers all over the world who do this shiz.

Cheese Pie.

It takes a fucking retard to do this. Either that, or you are not to blame since you were born with 5 penises above your ballsac.

.
.
.

On another note, I FUCKING HATEEEEE heartland shopping malls for one reason:

Heartlanders.

EEEeeeee. Disgusting, unhygienic and generally badly-dressed people comprising of aunties, chee ko peks and the worst species of all, THE DREADED NSKs.

YARKS.

Only at heartland malls would the inconsiderate fuckers have the audacity to do this.

FUCKING CHEEESEPIE right.

Assholes who won't even bother to return the trolleys properly.
Spare a thought for the poor trolley pushers who have to keep this shiz after you.

Heartlanders are fuckers.

Elite people like me rule this universe.

Tool.

2008-02-21T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I know I haven't blogged in the longest time and you all miss me, and for that I apologise.

It's been really hard to blog lately, terms are coming up, plus my mom got pissed at me for no apparent reason and confiscated my internet.

I even had to pay Charissa 5 bucks to blog the previous post.

Plus I'm flunking just about every fucking subject there is. Bah.

Tomorrow's my birthday, so I guess that's the only thing i have that keeps me going. After tomorrow I'll just kill myself.

Happy birthday to me.

Okok to all those who came to my party last sat, thanks a heap for making it so fun.

To all those who gave me presents, I love you even more than the rest and will treasure your thoughtful gifts eternally.

Reuben for the pear vodka, Josh and Brian for the sexy bag, Char, Tammie and Aaron for my pretty new wallet and Cheng Wei for the cute ducky. Which I've named 'Ducky'.

Hahahahha. I love you all.

Although i have to say this, I got into so much trouble thanks to ryan mathews.

Learn to control your drinking! You got so wasted I had to tie your shoelaces for you when you left (in case you don't remember this, and you probably don't). Plus your mom called me 3 times to scold me when she found out how drunk you were. It wasn't even my fault!!!!

Damn you are almost as much of a drunken motherfucker as me.

I still love you man, just don't get drunk at my place next time.

To paul who is in china for the next 4 fucking months. Have fun, don't get lost, don't die. You don't speak a word of chinese so I am hoping against hope for this.

Tomorrow will be a fun-filled day, I'll be going for christian fellowship to feed my soul!

I AM HOLIER THAN THOU!!!

Goodnight all. Please don't forget about my poor old blog, even though my next post will be in a couple weeks time.

: (

2008-02-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

Hi.

Thank you to all those who showed up on saturday!! <3 and thank you for your presents i'm using them already HA HA. today i carried my new school bag and new wallet to school.

I FELT SO SEXY. i mean not that i'm not already sexy but you know, my new items just emphasized on my sexy.

i'm not making any sense.

today was so boring, but WHEN I WENT HOME I GOT SO EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING!!! i tried a new type of shaving foam. and it's got a lot of menthol ok it feels damn nice... :) :) :) :) :)

after shaving i left the foam on my face for like ten more minutes and fell asleep sitting on the toilet bowl cover ha ha ha.

okay i'm super tired i think this is enough for today.

ps: i'm not kiat, i'm just his editor pretending to be him, and i'm being paid five dollars per entry. HA

2008-02-13T05:48:00.001-08:00

it's been such a tiring week,

my angpow collection SUCKED COCK (really big cock)

anyway i've just finished baking with denise and charissa for valentine's day tomorrow.

i'm super tired. i know that you all are interested to find out what is going on in my life now and i'm sorry for not blogging but...

IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS I'M TIRED

i'm so sad today cause i didnt go school and i missed my favourite lesson of the week - mass pe with mr ong or should i say, mr boris ong jin yi HAHAHAH. :) okay that's all!

oh for those privileged few who are invited, it's this saturday, 16th feb, 6pm at my place, cashew heights. (MARCUS go at two hee hee hee)

i'm too tired to sms, i'll do it soon i promise. love you guys <3

2008-02-08T16:43:00.000-08:00

wtf post deleted??

2008-02-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

So anyway, this is the shiz found on the recommendation board outside the school library.

Honestly what the fuck is up with that. Fucking recommending chinese books in such a fucking annoying manner, I swear ACJC has gone to the pits since the chinese speaking fuckers started coming in by the truckload.

Curse all chinese speakers, swarming like locusts across generations, you disgust me.

If you are gonna speak chinese, do so out of your uniform, don't give AC a bad name, we'd sooner have you jome in uniform.

.
.
.

So this week has been fun, on monday left school early to meet shi han at vivo for boost juice, which have the best smoothies in the world I swear, I'm so happy that they finally brought it over from australia. I've waited so long.

I love it so much that I actually had it twice in 2 days, when i had the misfortune to run into my stalker whom I shall not mention on this blog.

PS Watch the following two movies cos they are truly brilliant:

-Atonement (which is now my 3rd favourite movie of all time behind Eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind and V for Vendetta)

-Sweeney Todd (I know, you might think it's a musical, and usually I hate them too, but this one is truly good, it's so dark, the humour is so dark, the whole thing is so dark, it's bloody fantastic)

STAY AWAY FROM THE FOLLOWING SHIT
-CJ 7 (I'VE WARNED YOU, I wanted to die in the movie theater)

-Ah Long pte ltd (ok so i didn't watch this yet but i know it has to suck)

Thats about it for now, happy chinese new year, hope your red packet collection sucks this year!

Tool.

There's a hole in this world
Like a big black pit
And it's filled with people
Who are filled with shit

2008-02-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

:'(

Ugh I hate feeling stressed, and here's why.

When I'm stressed I get pimples on my otherwise flawless, porcelain perfect complexion.

And when the pimples happen to be around the chin area, I keep cutting into them when I shave.

And when this happens I lose so much blood I feel like passing out.

yarks!!! I swear the blood I lost over the last 7 days from shaving can keep the local blood bank going for a year or two.

Fucking skin bleeds for one hour after the cut, i swear it can't clot.

Okok back to the ever interesting story of my life!!

I have no time so I will cut the last 2 weeks short.

Pizza + Chilling at leon's place, with Sammi, the super cute doggy

awwwww...

Hoi Yan's birthday + Food fight

Ok this is the only pic i have of it, haha. Gross sick emotive words!

Everyone smelt of cake and puke after that, you can't see from the pic but it was ALL OVER MY HAIR like conditioner you can't wash off, and I HAD PE AFTER THAT so yeah, SICK GROSS DISGUSTING EMOTIVE WORDS!!!

(only candida's students would get the emotive words inside joke)

.
.
.

I wish more people would read my blog and take my advice so they don't end up looking like turds/cunts.

Like the snuggly couple on bus 75 back from holland village at midnight 2 saturdays ago.

Get a room, you disgusting fuckers, I mean, it's not that expensive, plus Hotel 81 lets you rent it for 2 hours if you are really short of cash but still want a quickie.

Thanks Denise and Charissa for my newest inanimate toy friends!!

Ok it's 1 am, I am ponning CNY celebrations at school today, but i need to sleeeeep still, sorry for my absence, been really busy!

Promise to blog soon!!!

P.S. FUCK OLYMPUS
KNNCCB
FUCKING LOUSY CAMERAS
Spoilt must go all the way to FUCKING Chinatown for warranty.

DIZGUZTING

2008-01-30T04:08:00.000-08:00

oooh i'm about to hit 3000 views!!

To the lucky person who does it, please save the page to your folders and email me, you'll get a prize!!!

2008-01-29T04:15:00.000-08:00

To Yan Xun: Hang in there dude!!!

Ok about the nasty NSK ah lian in the LRT last tuesday.

When me and Shi Han were entering the train, the rude little bitch nudged her way violently between us and plonked herself onto the seats we were headed for.

I went, what the fuck, and had a closer look.

NASTY BITCH, she wasp probably sec 3, and had ths UGLY face, with this disgusting trying-to-be-rihanna hairstyle that went horribly wrong.

Denise, you haven't seen a mushroom head till you've seen this little whore. It was horrible, her fringe looked like it came from a horror movie and her sides were way too short, giving her the look of one of those institutionalized psycho maniacs at an assylum.

Plus her uniform was this pale yellow vomit colour. Vomit-like and vomit inducing. Bah.

So I sat beside the pesky lil ho, and exclaimed to shi han loudly, "Wah, neighborhood school kids REALLY piss me off sometimes."

And this started the staring war which i naturally won. When she turned her head away, I whispered in her direction, "Chee bye mother never teach you how to behave to elders is it? What the fuck you looking at."

Haha another staring war, the fucking cunt was about to cry her slit eyes out.

We both remianed silent for the whole trip, until near the end, here I went, "Thank goodness for my scholarship to Harvard Law School, won't have to deal with annoying heartlanders again!"

HAHAHAH OMG I WAS ENJOYING MYSELF SOOO MUCH.

To top it off, once we exited the gantries, we both went in different directions, but I turned around and yelled: "Hey, fucking bitch!"

And hopefully I will never see her again.

But maybe I just had a bad day and the slut was on the receiving end, so....

Maybe I'm the one to blame....?

.
.
.

Nah.

2008-01-24T06:38:00.001-08:00

Ryan Mathews goes in tomorrow!!!
I have school as usual so I can't see him off, damn.
Well I guess there's not much to be said my friend.

You were always damn interesting to be with, and I have great faith in you that you won't become a babbling NS drone like a few of my friends already have.

I waited 6 weeks for you to get your ass back from your marathon trip.
Now I shall wait another 2.
You can so get drunk on chinese rice wine with me while we celebrate the year of the rat hahahahaha.

Gonna miss you.
See, one by one you guys leave me.

Also going in: Ian and Jerome!

These guys sure know how to party, and I'm guessing it'll be no different in bmt....

Except the party happens up their asses when they drop the soap/ end up in DB.

I know, I know, these two retards wanna get me drunk again for saying that, but that's seriously impossible now that I'm officially a good Christian and in CF!

Swearing of alcohol is easy!! Sober for life!

Save Kiat's liver!

Ok but seriously guys, take care of yourselves.

And last but not least, someone really close to me. Literally!!

Reuben my neighbour, stay safe. God forbid, should anything happen to you, I might not be able to Guitar Hero at your place no more. : (

But on the bright side, my dirty little secret will be safe a bit longer ; )

11 years old HA.

.
.
.

R.I.P.

Heath Ledger 1979~2008

Today in school I sat and cried
When I found out Heath Ledger died
Till now I still don't comprehend
Why such a great young life should end

sigh.
.
.
.

School today was such a stressful fark!!

Haha Denise and I tried ponning geog lect, but damn suay, Shi Min called us to warn us that this week the bitch PMSed and decided to take attendance. THE ONE WEEK WHEN WE DECIDED TO SKIP.

Damn suay, so we ran from the bleachers to LT5. But there was no one there.

So we checked LT6, no one there.

I panicked and checked, IT WAS BECAUSE THE FUCKING UPDATED VENUE WAS LIKE LT3 SO WE RAN THERE AND WERE LIKE 20 MINS LATE. 2 crazed students barging in hahaha.

Haha could still laugh about it, plus at least we didn't get into trouble.

I have to thank denise for being such a great friend recently, everyone still loves her despite her mushroom head.

KIDDING.

Your head looks fine haha, as you can see from the picture below.

Yay we went to eat at dover market, how fun!!! This picture looks SOoo posed by the way, like the type that appears in cheesy print ads and moral education textbooks. hahahha.

Charissa joined us and after that me and her went to KAP cold storage to buy a lifetime's supply of salt and vinegar chips oh my gosh I've been obsessing over them the past few weeks I'm scaring myself.

A couple of years ago I had no one to share the chips with cos everyone hates that flavour.

Now I have Charissa and Chris!!!!

People who enjoy salt and vinegar are generally too smart for their generation and often misunderstood hahahahhaa.

2008-01-23T07:39:00.001-08:00

Hi yan xun, thanks for the bruise you gave me which hasn't healed yet. You not only injured my arm, you stabbed me in the heart while doing so. : (

Today after school was designated fun day!!
I originally did it for Ryan but the prata seller who's going in this friday didn't have the mind to rsvp and told me he couldn't make it like, 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet.

haha, ah well, so I went to my CC for bowling, pool and dinner.

tsk tsk Charissa was so awful at bowling and pool, and so when I had the misfortune to scratch the 8 ball while playing against her, she LEAPED up and pranced about the billiards room like a deranged mutant killer snow goon, like she won the nobel prize.

And she had to sms EVERYONE that she beat me in pool.

PREVIEW OF WHATS TO COME TOMORROW COS I AM TOO TIRED TO CONTINUE BLOGING NOW

Okok I'm too tired to blog about other stuff now, it's gonna be 1 am soon, sorry my posts have been overdue, but tomorrow I'm gonna blog about the following so keep reading!

-Ryan Mathew's NS tribute.
-Ian's
-Jerome's
(might put these on my secret blog so check that too for those who have privileged access)

yeah they all going in on friday so.

Plus I will also blog about the most irritating store around, I.P. Zone

icky icky poo yucks.

And last but not least

THE IRRITATING NSK (neighbourhood school kia) CHAO CHEEBYE, THINK SHE VERY COOL SECONDARY 2 GIRL I MET ON THE LRT TODAY.

The next post is shaping up to be a good one and so is my weekend!

Leon owes me a rooftop pizza dinner.

2008-01-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

School is becoming such a drag, and it's worse when your friends ask you out, but you can't cause you have school the next day and can't stay out late.

There's soccer PE tomorrow which is like, ugh, cos it's all muddy and unglam and stuff. Not that I don't enjoy PE (I have the greatest PE teacher on Earth!!) but mud is so eew....

Mr Ong even implied last week that my dislike for mud meant that i was effectively no longer the macho man of 2sc9 anymore.

What!! I am just clean cut dude, I'm as macho as anyone out there ok! It's just that mud... It's so, eww and the germs, ugh.

Anyway..... i spent my wednesday afternoon at my indian best friend ryan's place after coffee with charissa and shi han. And to think that on the way to meet an indian friend i'd meet a pissing off indian.

I swear this dude probably went swimming in curry and tumeric or something it was damn smelly!

I mean, at least try showering once a week and don't live in the al ameen kitchen dude.

But even worse was this RJC MOTHERFUCKER, correction, FAT rjc motherfucker who boarded the bus and as he walked to the back where Charissa and I were sitting, gave me this damn awful dirty look, as if he couldn't get any uglier. Screwed up dog face, go fuck a cow lah. Cheebye.

Think listening to your fake ipod very cool is it. Lan jiao.
I know God creates every one of us, but how could God possibly have created such an abmomination to my eyes?!?!?! DISGUSTING SICK EMOTIVE WORDS EWWW.

OK despite the traumatic journey caused by the ugly fucker, Hanging out at ryan's place was so fun, finally did it after like, 4 years of putting it off. Should have gone there more.

Such a great house to slack and lounge about in

retarded antocipation

One for the memories!

Oh yeah, and congrats to another best friend of mine, phil, for going 22 days without smoking!!! Stay strong, don't give up cos I will be right there with you 24/7!

Rooftop pizza with leon and kid tomorrow, for old times' sake! Can't wait.

2008-01-10T06:21:00.001-08:00

ACS(I) bros forever.

The 2 greatest people on earth

3 bros and 2 Hos.

hahahahah.

That was a fun night. But someone remind me never to go drinking past 11 on a school night ever again.

So marcus went in today, a detailed tribute to him can be found on my secret blog, which a select few get to read.

Marcus, when you do read this, please go read that too, it's so heartfelt!!!

I love hog's breath!

And I have absolutely nothing else to share with you guys.

Bugger off.

2008-01-09T01:44:00.001-08:00

I don't blame you. But the least you could do is call to explain..........
I've been nothing but as nice a friend as I can be.

So yeah... I'm thinking... I'm the fucking last person you should be saying that to now.

2008-01-07T06:05:00.001-08:00

See people, this is what i'm talking about, UPPDA or NSKPDA.

Also known as ugly people public display of affection or neighbourhood school kia public display of affection.

Hugging on escalotors, making out on the MRT, groping on buses.....

Geez, IF YOU HAVE THE URGE TO PROCREATE THAT BADLY, get a room you disgusting freaks of nature.

.
.
.

Oh and who the hell do the fuckers at RJC think they are.

What raffles diploma bullshit.

Do they imagine that simply because they have the Raffles name, they can do anything they please?

What the fuck.

"Oh we are the high-and-mighty raffles jc. A levels are simply not good enough for us. We may still be a JC but lets show we are better than the rest by bending the rules and creating our own diploma which the whole world will surely recognise simply because of our name."

FUCK OFF I DON'T WANT YOUR RUBBISH YOU FULL OF CRAP JC.
Nabeh cheebye bastard.

Next you know, they'll have their own course in medicine.

.
.
.

Happy birthday Shi Han!!!

2007-12-30T09:37:00.001-08:00

oh yeah i am totally looking forward to seeing Charissa tomorrow at the airport cos she is awesome and a perfect example of how good girls should behave.

hahahahahahah.

2007-12-30T08:52:00.000-08:00

Awards part 2.

Reflection of the year:

Nominees:
-me

Winner:
-Me.

I am totally friggin awesome!

Anyway today was super fun, after lunch I spent the whole day with Aaron getting pissed at the %&^%$^&@#%^@ Sony Ericsson people at their Service Centre in Wisma. Ugh we went back there 4 fucking times and his phone was still not ready for collection. Stupid stupid fucktards.

Pity I didn't get to watch the show with Brian Josh and Ashley, but I did get to do something really cool, have dinner with Sheryl at that super indiany restaurant near my place.

Me looking sexy with the Bryani.

Oh yeah my hair was cut by Aaron, and I think it's awesome.

I look good no matter what.

And we are gonna like be roomies when I go to Australia, cos i realise i have to get out of this fucking miserable island.

Anyway, poor Sheryl was having this really awful cough, so at least it kept her from saying too much bimbotic stuff.

Ok kidding, don't kill me please.

She loved my hair so much (who doesn't) and kept touching it, saying of all things that IT FELT LIKE HER DOG

omg : (

but i bet her dog feels nice so... ; )

than we went to crash yantheman's squash party. Poor yan xun we were playing this retarded drinking game and everyone targeted him, but I felt good doing it hahahha.

Have to sleep, gonna do 3 different things tmr!!!! die die die die die.

-meet cell ppl
-meet turner at airport
-stayover

omg omg omg omg omg i hafta skip watchnight i thinks.

sian!

2007-12-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

Yep.

It's that time of the year again.

As in, the end of it.

And so, I again present, my one and only, my unbiased, my true-to-the-bone awards list 2007.

Drumroll please...

Award number one, BLOG OF THE YEAR.

Nominees:
-Seriouslywhatthefuck
-TK's other secret blog (which the people who know about should keep silent about.)

And the winner is...

seriouslywhatthefuck. Yes, the blog you are reading as right now, ass.

So here is my acceptance speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished member of the academy, I thank you for bestowing this award unto me. I will not waste my time being all humble about it. This blog surely deserves the title of blog of the year 2007. The title may change time and time again, but the commitment and love I put into this blog never ceases.
I mean, seriously, were there any other contenders?
If reading sucky emo blogs full of poor grammar and flaming stupid preteen msn speech (Example: "Zomg tomolo vanessa hudgens n me going out 2 haf lunch!! XD XD Baby love you lots, vely vely much muacks muacks") then you can scamper off for I do not care to have a reader as undisecerning as yourself. Who knows what will happen to this blog in the following year. But one thing will be sure - as long as great writers and intellectuals such as myself are not locked up by the bloody garment, all the mindless pathetic drines out there will continue to enjoy various forms of meaningful entertainment. Thank you and suck my balls. "

Award number 2

Best English

Nominees
-JK Rowling
-Grover from 'Sesame Street'
-Myself

And the winner is.....

Myself.

After creating this blog, i have had numerous comments on how eloquently I have mastered the english language. Of course my english is impeccable, I did not attend a shitty neighbourhood/cheena secondary school. So there. I will not apologise for making the previous remark. It's too late to apologise. It's too late.

Award number 3

Best hair

Nominees
-Marcus
-Myself
-Paul Selva aka Minion

Cus, nice hair. A most commendable attempt to usurp me. But one done in vain.

Paul I love your afro. Alot. But unfortunately the judge's choice is the judge's choice and I can't do anything about it, even if I am the Judge himself.

You two play second fiddle to the winner,

Me. again. Wow I totally did not expect this award!

Be it long

Short

Or anything in between, I pulled of my hairstyles with grace and elegance sufficient to do a cover on Harper's Bazaar.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Anyway I'll continue this awards list on New Years Day if I feel like it.

But for now folks, the special mention award:

The GTK foundation Courage Award.

Nominees
-Mother Teresa
-The previous Pope (the dead one)
-Myself
-Black, I mean, Barack Obama
-Angelina Jolie

And the winner is....

Myself.

Of course, a very fine list of distinguished people were nominated.

But only one showed true courage in the face of adversity.

After struggling with personal demons and addictions, our winner showed the will to live and, defying all odds, carved a place in history for himself.

After retaining the previous year due to a mystery illness that left him paralyzed in the right side of his body and hence unable to write, many had wrote him off, saying 'He retained cos he's dumb', and 'He used to be so smart, now he's one of us.'

His amazingly high PSLE score of 263 and his 6 distinctions for his O levels were neither comfort nor respite; instead, they became a source of ridicule.

But, having made a brave complete recovery from the illness, he lifted his head up high.

He proved everyone wrong when he was finally promoted in the year end examination.

He. Is. A. Winner.

Here's what he has to say now.

You'd think I'd crumble
You'd think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love
I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive, hey hey

And so that concludes part one of TK's unbiased awards for 2007.

Merry Christmas to all.

Tool!

2007-12-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

You know what I don't like?

White trash motherfucker angmohs who come to Singapore, think they expatriate damn bloody big shot and are better than the locals.

Fuck lah today was in the car with my parents, driving into the Tangs carpark. You know the one which is damn fucking difficult to get into cos of the zebra crossing where people keep walking and dun let the vehicles through...

Anyway we waited quite a while before the pedestrians finally stopped so the car could pass. And as our car was moving forward this BLOODY ANGMOH FUCKFACE just came out of nowhere and flaming just started crossing the road, despite the bloody fact that EVERYONE ELSE had stopped walking and was giving was to the car, and the fact that our car was ALREADY MOVING ACROSS THE FUCKING ZEBRA CROSSING.

FUCKING STUPID RETARDED CUNT.

Cheebye, the reason you were posted to sg to work is because the people back home all found you too much of a washed-up white trash asshole and thus they deported you here you useless buttpicker.

Anyway, my dad horned the car at him, and the retard, his mind challenged from 4 generations of inbreeding, just walked off, without turning around, and lifted his middle finger.

W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.

From now on if any expats/ foreign fuckfaces/ local fuckfaces piss me off I will not hesitate to punch their crooked teeth down their damn ugly necks.

Tool.

2007-12-13T01:47:00.000-08:00

And one by one they left me.

This post is dedicated to my closest chums, whom I grew up with, and are all leaving the lonely retainee behind to enlist and serve the bloody garment.

Funny how we used to have so much fun as kids, I still think we're all kids but the only difference is that (i quote andrew) you're trained to kill people.

Anyway on wednesday we had dinner at Georges as a farewell to Andrew and Kevin who are going in this week. Stupid me thought kevin was going in in January, so I didn't really get him anything damnit.

Andrew, who's going to be missed this saturday onwards, but lucky bugger has BMT interrupted due to Christmas and such.

My dearest Kev, childhood friend, it was fun growing up with you.

I realise I'm wearing my AC PE singlet, not to be a man whore like Keith Wong, but simply because I came from sentosa with the bimbos and I was too lazy to change.

Then there was ekklesia kids yesterday one last time. After that John, Eunice and I had supper... yada yada yada, John's driving is super scary by the way.

And so i reached home at 12.30, used internet, showered and played my shiny new PS3 till like fucking 3am.

And I woke up at 5.30 like a zombie to go to pasir ris to see kevin off.

I've known kevin since I was like, 4, and to see him walk through the bus bay to the bus that takes the doomed enlistees to tekong, it felt so weird, like we are all growing up, and will never have fun bunking over, eating chips, ordering pizza, playing bomberman on the old playstation........

Dunno lah its making me emo again! :(

So now after Joshua K goes in in march, I will be stuck with you Brian. How fun, one smart but unfortunate retainee, one stupid poly boy, both stuck in the past while their friends advance in life.

One for the memories!
Beer sucks btw I hate drinking!

..
..

.
.
.

Anyway weekend was pretty fun, I told my parents I went church camp but in actual fact I stayed over at Han Loong's and Joshua's. Those of you who know my parents, tell them this and you are SCREWED FOR LIFE.

Haha, I should go Josh's place more often, such a nice place to chill despite the mess, or as Brian would say, the 'indian junkyard'. Will get him even more drunk the next time, got lots of scottish whisky left.

Me and josh went to my country club and swam, had dinner and bowled.

And bowled I did.

My first 5 frames were how nice.

The next 5, i didn't do as well because umm, the aircon was too cold.
I am pleased to announce that I have broken my bowling high score yet again bitches!!!!

Now bow down and worship the greatness that I am.

2007-12-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

Got a lot of stuff to blog about, the past week has been super fun.

But i'm too tired right now, plus I've been to busy with my new PS3 (another reason for you to be my friend, treat me well).

I've gotta wake up at 5 am tmr to see Kevin of to NS, and it's 2 am now..... Sigh.

2007-12-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

OMG this is the funniest music video parody/ political satire ever!

For all of you who thought the 'Umbrella' music video was boring.

Hillary and Barack would make a real nice couple.

2007-12-06T03:46:00.000-08:00

I'm so gonna get straight As for me A's next year.

They're gonna open a new Coffee bean and Tea Leaf at the rail mall, and I am so gonna study there everyday after school next year.

How determined am I.

But it'll be my little secret. I'd hate to see all the irritating fucker AC-wannabes there. I will fucking chase you out with my pitchfork if i have to.

It's MY coffee bean outlet, ALL MINE.

2007-12-04T06:36:00.000-08:00

Ok Chris, I'm not really angry at you, it's just frustrating, you know. No hard feelings, I still love you just as much. <3

Anyway, my life had been pretty ok. Not good, not excellent, just ok.

Marcus must be having so much fun in Aus now. I realise how much i miss him, I have no one else to tennis with. And no one else to tower over (maybe demon witch hahaha).

Ryan Mathews. Ryan Ryan Ryan. Some Indians get all the luck.

I must admit, I was freaking freaking sad when I reslised he was going USA to visit his dad (an SAF pilot posted to arizona) for 6 weeks.

6 glorious weeks which includes going to New York, Dallas, San Fransisco and Hawaii.

NEW YORK AND HAWAII I SWEAR ARE MY TOP 2 I-REALLY-WANNA-GO-THERE HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS.

AND HE GETS TO DO BOTH IN A SINGLE TRIP.

And to top it off, he came online on msn and we were chatting... And guess what he told me.

HE GOT UPGRADED FOR FREE TO FIRST CLASS ON SIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I have flown SIA so many times, but NEVER NOT ONCE have I been upgraded.

LAN JIAO MOTHERCHEEBYE YOU SUCK MY COCK LAR SIA YOU FUCKING BITCH.

I know why I never got upgraded, it's because, whenever I go to the check in counter, the changi airport counter bitch would think, 'Oh my, this guy is pretty good-looking! He's even prettier than me! I hate him I am so jealous, I will never upgrade his seat! Oh look at the guy behind him in the queue, the short fat ugly one picking his nose, I feel sorry for him, I'll give him the upgrade instead.'

LISTEN UP CHANGI AIRPORT BITCHES, DON'T HATE ME COS I'M BEAUTIFUL, IF YOU MUST HATE ME, HATE ME COS I'M SMART (my psle is 263).

I detest prejudice against beautiful people like me. It's not our fault we were born gorgeous.

Fuck all you ugly motherfuckers.

Which brings me to another topic:

UGLY PEOPLE PDA DISGUSTS ME

I mean, it's ok if you wanna wrap your arms around each other and smooch in the elevator/ MRT/ escalator/ bus/ shopping mall.

Unless, of course, you happen to be U-G-L-Y.

It's just gross, I mean, couple days ago I was on the escalator going up from orchard mrt towards wisma, and there was this damn ugly couple making out in front of me, and I could see the look of disgust from the people coming down the escalator the other way.

Stupid ugly couple, I bet they were thinking: We are young and carefree, who cares what the world thinks? Let's celebrate our love!

FUCK. The woman had HUGE fat arms that could feed a village, and the guy looked like his face got into an accident with a meat grinder.

UGLY PEOPLE PDA IS NOT COOL, NOT HOT, JUST REPULSIVE AND VOMIT-INDUCING.

Please, even good looking people like me abstain from public displays of affection, for modesty's sake.

Ugly people like you, should be jailed for simply doing it. I mean, if I had eaten a full meal before, no doubt it would all come right back out.... THROUGH MY FUCKING NOSE.

Fuck ugly people!!

Tool!

2007-12-03T00:07:00.000-08:00

Dyed my hair again today. It's getting really unhealthy, I don't know why but evry time the holidays come around, I just have this urge to dye it again and again to experiment. And Because I dye it black during the school term, I realise that I haven't seen my natural hair colour since January 2004, back in Sec 3. Whoa.

I just went from Auburn (that's red, dumasses) to what Feria calls 'Cool Ash'. Which really, I don't see much of a difference from my natural dark brown colour, it's just a lighter shade of greyish-brownish-black.

Damn, maybe it overgrabbed, we'll see how it is in a couple of days.

Anyway I've decided not to dye it black again after this, all the dying is fucking it up. After Christmas I'm just gonna shave it all off and see how I look.

I'm guessing it will be pretty hot.

2007-12-01T09:43:00.000-08:00

To the 4 of you who didn't show up today.

Fuck to all of you? No.

One of you had surgery. Poor dude, I understand man. You gotta rest that face of yours (will never be as pretty as mine though! hahahaha).

Another one was almost here, but your hairy indian cheebye mother got in the way of things. But we how tight, so I forgive you too.

The 3rd one. You're probably closer to me than anyone else I know. And I truly treasure our friendship! And you usually take the effort to show up the earliest, and you always try your best. So even though it really sucks that you couldn't make it today, I am not angry or anything, just super disappointed, cos I did it all for you, as a farewell!

The 4th person. You motherfucker. Got ho, no bros. No ho, still don't give shit about bros. You know, no one else I know would pangseh friends a good 95% of the time. And no one makes as little effort as you to show up. Hell, if you can't make it, don't commit yourself to it by saying you'd come.

Hell I'm not the sort of person who'd name and flame on this blog, so here's the fictitious name I shall use to represent you: Christopher Song.

Thanks Chris. It's funny how calls to your phone are never answered even though you have free incoming.

It's strange how you always fall sick when we're supposed to meet up.

And it's absolutely tragic how you couldn't make it because had to attend the funerals of all 3 grandmothers, all within the same year.

_|_

Fuck you motherfucker, if staying at Tanah Merah is your problem, just say it.

West side is da best.

You know, I will still plan these gatherings and all for us to hang out.

I will still ask you, each time.

But school is out for you, and I doubt we'll see each other ever again.

Thanks to your part.

Thanks to Shi Han and Leon who showed up! Watching 3 movies in a row and not sleeping is always fun.

2007-11-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

Couple days ago I was sitting with my friends over a nice bottle of non-alcoholic drink, and somehow we started talking about alcohol damaging the liver. One of my friends (I won't name that person, cos I seriously don't remember who said it) said "Well, that's the reason why you have 2 livers."

I, being an A1 bio student, said, "Wait, we only have one liver each, 2 kidneys."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure we have 2 livers."

Best!

The above picture is of this nabeh cheebye bus driver, who took one fucking hour to go to great world. Cheebye was how slow, and as the bus passed the American Embassy, the fucker SLOWED the bus down to actually turn his head to look at the Embassy. Seriously, what the fuck?! Fucking bus driver is some cheena tourist is it. The whole fucking road was empty in front of your lan jiao you know.

2007-11-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

This is the bitch shop at Wisma, boycott the place! Fuck the flowers, fuck the flowers! May they go out of business soon.

Look at my hair, it curls in the right places, I am so good looking, Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
I mean, I would normally be humble about it, but a friend of mine recently rated me a 9/10 in looks, so I have the urge to, you know, be narcissistic.

This pic taken couple days ago at my country club btw (*points and sniggers at the loserish, commmon-salt people who can't afford country club membership*)

Just showing this pic to prove my point about how cool I look. And Cher's specs don't actually have lenses in them. Such a bimbo! I think we're friends for the simple reason that 2 of us are just so damn good looking!

Hahahaha! I'm not joking about it.

Anyway Jerome and Han Loong were at my Country club and they were kicking it old school with Metal slug! (This is for all the embarassing videos you posted of me, han.)

How cute! A 19-year old and am 18-year old playing metal slug together!

Hell yeah they even attracted an audience, that's the way!!

Cocaine has done it again!!!

Damn I'm getting good at this.
My highlight of the week: Once again breaking my own bowling high score, I broke 100 for the first time, all you bitches ain't got nothing on me!

2 strikes in a row,
It's time I went pro.

Next week is shaping up to be greeeatt! :)

And as for the St Hilda's girl who scored 294 for her psle....

I'M PRETTY DAMN SURE SHE CHEATED.

Oh one more thing: Abusing my tagboard is a sure-fire way to shorten your lifespan. I took karate lessons for 2 weeks in primary 4, I have 4 years' experience of watching WWE, and I will not hesitate to use the skills taught to me to punish those who think that impersonating me on my tagboard is funny!!

My Kill-Bill death list so far:
1) Jeremy Turner

You're next!

2007-11-23T09:27:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about blogging the past few days, really! But I keep coming home after midnight so I'm too pooped to do anything about it.

A lot of nice pics to post but too lazy to connect camera to computer...

So, whatever, you just make do with whatever I have to say here.

I haven't dissed anything in a long time, life has been pretty good to me I guess. Until today.

I was at Wisma doing prom shopping with Marcus and paul, and we went into this FUCKING LAN JIAO PIECE OF SHIT SHOP, tough Jeansmith, whatever rubbish that meant. I was minding my own business, looking at their ugly wallets and jeans on display, when I took out my phone to show marcus something.

Then, without warning, this Fat malay bitch shop assistant whose babi-chop ass could feed all of africa FUCKING POINTED at me with her fucking pudgy finger and yelled damn loud, "EXCUSE ME NO TAKING PICTURES!!"

WAH FUCK I WAS STUNNED. How rude of a salesperson to do that. Couldn't she have said, "Sorry Sir, You are very good-looking but unfortunately photography is not allowed here, we sincerely hope you understand."

I AM IN THE SHOP, JUST LOOKING AT MY HANDPHONE, NOT AS IF I WAS HOLDING UP MY PHONE HIGH TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH IT.

Dumb fuck malay whore, I AM A POTENTIAL CUSTOMER, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND YOU DO NOT YELL AT THE CUSTOMER, UNDERSTAND THAT, BITCH.

I was quite stunned, so I gave her a pissed off look and replied, "I am most certainly NOT taking a picture!" And I walked out, still quite shellshocked.

And for that I should fuck myself in the ass, I was so stupid, what was i thinking, letting that monkey-ass-for-a-face fat slut get away with my mere display of annoyance.

I swear this weekend I shall go back to the shop, lodge a complaint and get her fucked, I cannot sleep tonight because I am still fuming over the matter, I know I hold grudges, but that's just the way I am, I will not find peace till I manage to fuck her life up and get her fat ass F-I-R-E-D

Fuck you lah go wear a tudung or something, will hide your fatness you stupid rude whore.

Anyway... to more lighthearted stuff, my current convo with marcus:

they owe me big time says:
whoa!
they owe me big time says:
: )
they owe me big time says:
nvm marcus you havent been replaced
they owe me big time says:
we how tight
(marcus) says:
hahahahahhahaahaahhaha
(marcus) says:
thats nice to hear
(marcus) says:
haha
(marcus) says:
all right
(marcus) says:
you go blog la
(marcus) says:
many ppl are dying to read your next entry
(marcus) says:
esp todays incident
(marcus) says:
hahaha
they owe me big time says:
YES!!! : )
they owe me big time says:
i seriously going back tmr to complain, not kidding, i've been fuming the whole day i wont get my peace till she's fired
(marcus) says:
hahahahaha
(marcus) says:
are you serious?

(marcus) says:
just let it go la
(marcus) says:
dun waste your time
they owe me big time says:
i cant sleep thinking abt it man I AM A POTENTIAL CUSTOMER
they owe me big time says:
SHE IS SO FUCKED
(marcus) says:
haha
(marcus) says:
okok gotta chill man
(marcus) says:
not worth getting all angry over a bitch like her

2007-11-18T06:55:00.000-08:00

HaPPY HAPPY HAPPY LAH LAH LAH SING AND DANCE ITS A CELEBRATION BITCHES

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME ANYMORE COS THIS BLOG IS DA SHIT TRALALALALLALA

I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY, I KNOW ITS NOT ME BUT I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE WHAT ANYONE THINKS I WRITE WHAT I WANT AND NO I HAVENT BEEN SMOKING SOMETHING WRONG, I AM JUST SUPER HAPPY!!!

Well the A's are over (or maybe there's only one more paper which you probably don't give a rat's ass for), and that means I can finally hang out with all the people I have been longing to go out with the past 3 miserable fucking weeks!!!!!

I MISS AND LOVE EVERYONE AND ITS TIME TO GET THE PARTY STARTED BITCHES!

okok, must plan carefully, here is my planning, which i put here to not only remind myself (i tend to lose paper) but also to show the readers, you, that I have a life and a, not just a washed-up fuck in front of a computer screen.

Monday- Driving lesson with Kid and Shi Han, which I really dunno what the hell I'm doing
Tuesday-Handlebar at last, with Ryan, Paul, Shi Han and Han Loong, gonna be a great time and I so cannot wait.
Wed- CC woth Han, Shi, Jerome and Ian
Thur- Tennis with Gerald
Fri - Meet pwee for first time in AGES!!!!

2007-11-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

If you noticed a lack of updates,it's because I have another truly secret blog to take care of, this blog now simply serves the purpose of me posting my audience-oriented, mediocre fare, and I won't tell you my blog add no matter how nicely you ask me hahahahaha.

I opened a bottle of champagne couple of weeks ago in celebration of something that happpened then. I have officially broken my all time bowling high score. If you think that my previous high score of 77 was great, think again, my high score is now officially

82!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL of you dig that bitches! I would seriously contemplate a future as a proffesional bowler, to right the disappointments that Remy Ong gave us Singaporeans, however as my academic results seem to point to a President Scholarship to Harvard, I shall have to unfortunately turn my back on my dream. Pity brunswick, they were trying so desperately to sponsor me.

But success came at a cost, as I was throwing the ball, I slipped on the, you know, oily, waxy part of the lane, and fell into a sprawled position, the bowling ball that had just been released crashing into my left ankle. Fucked up shit, I've been hobbling around with a bruised ankle since. Maybe I'm just too intellectual for bowling, all the female bowlers I know are rather bimbotic (to put it lightly).

It was around that time when Josh, Brian Kevin vince and me were walking to the MRT from church, and Amos walked by us, and I swear he said 'Hi young cunts!'\

I was like, 'wtf you just called us cunts?!'

Then vincent pulled me aside and smacked me, telling me it was 'young punks'.

Whats the difference?

Ah well, everyone's a fucking cunt anyway.

2007-11-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hi suckers! Short post today, cos I'm super tired out, been putting all my energy into replaying some of my favourite PS2 games as of late.

It's 1.50 am now, and I'm gonna have to sleep at 5 or something cos I will be playing Silent Hill 3 after this. And the reason I play such a scary game at this time is due to 2 reasons:

-Family asleep, very dark in living room with no lights on
-I like playing through the witching hour (which is 3 am for you clueless nitwits)
-I love thrills.

People think I have a problem because of my love for scares.
It's not that I'm very brave, I actually scare quite easily (all the better)
But the feeling of being so scared and suspenseful that you wanna puke is just awesome.

After I re complete silent hill I think I'll play haunting ground and fatal frame for kicks.
But no resident evil please, re is bullshit.

Today i logged on to irritating facebook to find out that a certain fat motherfucker (whom I will not name, only cos he's from church, otherwise I'd totally defame him here, but later Chris Chan read here then how?) mass superpoked me 4 times. Really irritating you know, that fucker, think he very cool, think he very good. Was such a cheebye during cell retreat. Damn act big, as if he not fat enough already.

I never bother, but seriously, you wanna mass superpoke everyone you know, do it max once a day is bad enough, but still bearable, please, don't be fucker poke 4 times in a row to people whom you don't even talk to. Damn irritating can, I had to remove the pokes from my superpoke list, wait people see think I'm his good friend. Wanna vomit.

Ok, off to scare myself into having orgasm(s) now, bye bye!

P.S. if you have a problem with me for mentioning the big 'o' word, you can go to hell

2007-11-11T05:52:00.001-08:00

another funny msn convo

hoi yan says:
EXCUSE ME
they owe me big time says:
good can burn ur fats
hoi yan says:
i do not hate kids
hoi yan says:
i hate annoying kids
hoi yan says:
which is all of them
hoi yan says:
who asked them to be such annoying babies and cry!
they owe me big time says:
that is so going on my blog heh heh
hoi yan says:
plus nannies in the future will all have degrees.. since its so normal
hoi yan says:
so my baby will be brought up a smart person
hoi yan says:
just like me
they owe me big time says:
-_-
hoi yan says:
oh. that means
hoi yan says:
you cannot be my nanny!
hoi yan says:
hahaah.
hoi yan says:
kidding
hoi yan says:
i mean my baby's nanny
they owe me big time says:
i want nothing to do with your disgusting offspring anyway
they owe me big time says:
hahaha
hoi yan says:
excuse me! my offspring will be the future generation of leaders
hoi yan says:
i want my son to be a violinist and look like.. dan humphrey from gossip girl!!!
hoi yan says:
aaahhh
hoi yan says:
and i dont want a daughter cos then i'll have to compete with her for money to buy clothes and shoes
hoi yan says:
bitch
they owe me big time says:
omg you are such a godsend for my blog
hoi yan says:
you better not put that on your blog!
hoi yan says:
or else...

2007-11-11T04:28:00.000-08:00

I hate it when women just can't shut their mouthes and ramble on about the whole 'gender equality' issue, it's damn disgusting please.

I mean, I'm not suggesting that women don't deserve the same treatment as men, it's just it gets super annoying whenever they bring up the issue. HELLO it's not the 1920's ok, you think what, being a feminist hippie very cool, very fashionable is it?

"Oh, WE DEMAND EQUAL PAY AND JOB OPPORTUNITIES AS MEN."

Please shut the fuck up, bitch. Maybe other women do, but YOU sure as hell don't, whiny cocksucker.

They forever complain everything is super unfair to them, blah blah.

Fuck bitch, you want fair? Go waste 2 of the BEST years of your life (or more) doing NS and then I will respect you enough to actually hear out your complaints. If you want fair, than how come you don't need do NS also, huh?

"Oh! But we women cannot do NS what, we have to get pregnant and produce babies to repopulate the country."

YOU FUCKING LOOK AT OUR PATHETIC BIRTH RATE CAN. Even that reason is not valid cos you ARE ALL NOT GIVING BIRTH!!!

Women these days are so pathetic, they don't want to give birth cos they want money for themselves to buy high heeled shoes, and they also scared cheebye too painful during childbirth.

I got this friend once said that men should give birth cos they are physically stronger.

What the hell, I swear if I did have to give birth, I will not like, whine about it, spend $5000 on maternity clothes, and demand 2 years of paid maternity leave per child.

Plus this generation of teenage girls would make horrible mothers.

Just today during church service, this baby at the back of the LT was making noises, and Hoi Yan was like, "I hate kids, i hate that sound they make."

I told her she would make a crappy mom, but she argued saying that she'd make a great mother, and then followed up by saying, "I will hire a good nanny to take care of my baby."

Haha swtf.

Oh and one more thing, Hoi Yan was too bimbotic to listen to my instructions on how to get to church (she used to be in my church but left to attend St Andrews Cathedral, that traitor), and so I kindly offered to meet her at the sunset bus stop so we could go there together.

So I woke up super early and even gave her a wake up call because she has no clock in her room and doesn't know how to use her cellphone alarm function. How gentlemanly of me right.

Oh man she is so bimbotic I swear, I told her we should meet at 9.10, but she left her home with slippers on, and halfway through walking out, she realised it, and had to turn back to get her heels, thus forcing me to wait, like, half an hour!

And she made me fat cos while waiting for her I got so bored I had to go to 7-11 to buy an ice cream.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.

2007-11-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

The following conversation is fictional and did not happen on msn, and is not about a particular friend of mine. But it is super funny.

charissa owen says:
I WANT TO GO BOTAK JONES

they owe me big time says:
which one? clementi?

they owe me big time says:
ang mo kio?

they owe me big time says:
hahaha

charissa owen says:
anyone

charissa owen says:
hahahaha

they owe me big time says:
eh we grab yan xun and samuel all that lah

they owe me big time says:
when jerm coming back?

charissa owen says:
SET

they owe me big time says:
how long his sex trip?

charissa owen says:
he's back already!!

charissa owen says:
hahahahaha

they owe me big time says:
WTF

they owe me big time says:
haha

charissa owen says:
came back late last night

they owe me big time says:
2 days?

charissa owen says:
yeah

charissa owen says:
HAHAH

they owe me big time says:
i night?

they owe me big time says:
haha sex what sex man

charissa owen says:
chiong la

charissa owen says:
hahahahahahaa

charissa owen says:
some people like the excitement

2007-11-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Short post, feel like sleeping soon.

Today was just Ikea to buy 5 freaking mugs, then slacked around Paul's place again, watched another Quentin Tarantino show, deathproof, which was freaking cool!

I think I've recently developed a problem: that is I am actually starting to take heed of the advice of others, rather than my usual method: block it off and think to myself, fuck, I can do what I want, who does this fucker think he/she is to give me advice?

Like, Andrew told me my facial hair, which I had to keep for 9 weeks without shaving (cos my facial hair grows painfully slowly) to achieve my desired length, apparently makes me look haggard.

I was super stressed cos of this, I mean, I think the chin hair makes me look more, umm, distinguished .... But Andrew was not the only person who told me it looked ugly and told me to shave.

So today i STUPIDLY ON A WHIM decided to buy a brand new gilette razor and shaved it all off, so I am clean shaven once again.

Shit man I miss my stubble, I REGRETTED REGRETTED so badly when I saw my hair stuck to that cheebye overpriced gilette razor after shaving, why the fuck did I listen to Andrew?
(Haha, don't worry andrew, I'm not blaming you! I love you very much still)

NEXT TIME I WILL NOT SHAVE, I DON'T CARE HOW UGLY I GET, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME COS IF I LIKE MY CHIN STUBBLE I WILL KEEP IT COS IT'S MINE!

Same with the tagboard, I only did it cos people told me to add one. What the fuck, I think that since I don't cherish my own opinion any longer, I should just commit Hara-Kiri. Or whatever it's called.

Anyway since it's on already, please tag and tell me what you think of me, my blog, or absolutely anything at all!

Cos I value your opinion, I really do!

2007-11-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

http://rockson.blogspot.com

OMG THIS GUY'S BLOG IS TEN TIMES MORE AWESOME THAN MINE GO READ I LOVE HIM.

2007-11-08T10:03:00.001-08:00

How hard can it be to get a tagboard, I thought.

I mean, all I have to do is google for help and listen to instructions, right?

WRONG!!!!
(*&^%$#@ I swear, I was told to click on 'layout' under the blogger dashboard but %$@^$%&% there was none, and it took me fucking long to look for it, to no avail. In the end I switched blogskin, found the 'layout' function and then added the damn tagboard and then switched back.

So. Damn. Motherfucking. Troublesome.

But now I have a tagboard, so my blog is even more reader friendly than ever, yay.

Couple nights ago had the ultra-successful class party, organised by the smartest, nicest guy in class. The poor dude put in so much effort, he had to buy drinks, chips, ice, do logistics, source location, send out invites, lug his PS2 there and collect money. Poor dude, whoever you are, thanks for making the party such a smashing success!
(pics on Denise's blog cos she has my camera)

The party was named 'SC9NDALOUS @ hyp'

hyp being Hoi Yan's palace. I hate her, her house is so nice, she has like 5 basements, and the entire west wing of the house, which equates to the size of ACJC itself, is hers. I swear, she had 15 chambermaids in complete french maid dress waiting on her and 5 additional hot male butlers.

Plus she was so humble about it, she told me, 'my private bowling alley is not so big, it has only like, 8 lanes.'

I'M SO JEALOUS BECAUSE MY HOUSE ONLY HAS 4 BASEMENTS AND MY BOWLING ALLEY ONLY HAS 6 LANES!

PS2 was super fun, i kept thrashing everyone at tennis, incurring the wrath of Mr Loke, who had previously tasted defeat in real-life tennis at my hands, and this last defeat brought out his bitter side.

He went, 'Is this all you ever do at home? Don't you have a life?' And demanded to know if I was taking performance enhancing drugs again.

Gosh so hurtful right, like I've got no life, and just twiddle my fingers on my PS2 the whole day long! : (
OF COURSE I HAVE A LIFE, I BLOG WHAT, AND THAT'S THE COOLEST, MOST SOCIABLE THING YOU COULD EVER DO. I mean, blogging is such a great thing, way cooler than going out with my friends (who are all imaginary by the way, I've got no human friends). Blogging is a lot cooler than twiddling my fingers on video games!

OOOH I SEE MY BEST FRIEND, MR FRIENDLY BLUE ELF!

HI MR ELF!!!! : D

Even though Joe was surprisingly good at finger DDR, he was just no match for the seasoned expert that I am. I mean, I could play 9-footer rated songs at the age of 10, how awesome am I.

And even though there was a strict no alcohol policy, the coolest guy in my class had such a nerve to bring vodka and white rum. I mean, seriously, most of the people there were not of age, what was he thinking? Super irresponsible, such a show-off wannabe idiot, he think he's 18 years old already very big shot lah, can bring alcohol to the party, what the hell.

So Yan Xun and his nsk crasher friends blackmailed me into playing 'I've Never' with them by threatening to flush my phone down the toilet.

I whined, complaining that the only alcohol I'd ever allow myself to drink is the red wine taken with unleavened bread during Holy Communion in Church!!!!

But I was forced to drink anyway. Like, seriously, it was my first time drinking alcohol, and I felt really horrible! See, those 3 are such bad influences! I had half a cup of rum and coke, went home around 1 plus, felt like shit. Then ate instant noodles, slept at 2, felt like shit, woke up at 6am, felt like shitting, shitted, ate instant noodles again, felt like shit, slept at 7.30am, woke up and 3 pm feeling like shit still.

NOW COMES THE BEST PART.

I told myself, what can I do to shake off the haggard-ish feeling?

GO FOR A RUN! So I ran, but after 1.5 km, I just felt shittttttttty and puked all the fucking half-digested instant noodles, and smelt shittttier still.

And immediately after that, went to meet Brian (another imaginary friend) at west mall, to eat and drink (fruit punch of course!) and watch him slowly work his way to achieving lung cancer. I love you dear, but you must love your lungs first!! And don't worry, no one in church but Joshua K reads this anyway.

Speaking of which, Josh, when your A's end ar. 20th? I have fantastic ideas, we get Kevin, Vincent, Esther, Tammie, Andrew and Aaron (all imaginary friends btw) and whoever I've forgotten, and we can GO TO THE ZOO!! YAY I WANNA PET THE CHICKS AND SEE THE ELEPHANT THAT KILLED HIS ZOOKEEPER.

Ok in all seriousness, fuck the stupid zoo, and all the best for your remaining papers (That goes out to all my other J2 friends reading this as well, love all of you motherfuckers!!!)

(All also imaginary of course, bloggers like me are too busy blogging to have real friends.)

We vote on either Sentosa or East Coast ok. Cos i swear east coast is a shitty piece of shit.

....
...
..
.

Normally I would scold Shi Han for writing poems when he should be mugging, but he wrote one about me, so how can you not love the guy, he is freaking genius.

Kiat

written by Chee Shi Han

There was a boy named Kiat
Who at 18 had not yet
Learned the lesson
Of self-preservation
For this is what he said

"Fucking stupid Gahm.ent,
Profit-centred institution,
Don't they tire
Of the Lee empire?
Damn this island nation."

Twas most unfortunate
For him to have thus blurted
In the presence
Of the brainwashed peasants
And agents in covert

So that night in they crept
Into Kiat's home as he slept
Kicked down the door
And threw him on the floor
"In prison you'll be kept!"

So Kiat's now in containment
For that bloody stupid statement
Through the long spells
Still undaunted he yells
"FUCK THE FUCKING GAHM.ENT"

END OF POEM

Awesome right, haha thanks Shi Han, totally describes me!
I realised that in the metamorphosis of this blog, I've not been lampooning the authorities as much as I'd like to!

So here goes.

FUCKING CHEEBYES THINK THEY WHO. FUCK LAH BUILD THAT FUCKING E R P GANTRY NEAR THE RAIL MALL THERE. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE SENSE PLEASE. ITS IS REALLY DAMN MOTHERFUCKING UNFAIR TO PEOPLE LIVING IN UPPER UPPER BUKIT TIMAH LIKE ME PLEASE!!

FUCK LAH YOU THINK THE E R P, LIKE MAGIC CAN SOLVE EVERYTHING IS IT.

build e r p here
cars disappear

FUCK LAH HS.IEN LO.ONG I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER OK KUA.N Y.EW IS NOT YOUR REAL FATHER, I AM.
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE E R P MONEY GOING I DON'T SEE ANY IMPROVEMENT IN OUR ROADS.

I think i really deserve school leave if I cannot afford to go to school cos of the fucking e r p.

2007-11-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

Yeah as promised, pics of Han Loong's super cute beagle, Calvin.
I know its not like me, but omg cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute!
It seems to have some sort of fatal attraction to Shi han's shoes, even when shi han put them aside, the dog shifted itself towards the shoes again. haha cute dog.

I know that hols are times of rotting, but seriously, its never been so bad for me as it is now. Just as I start to feel ok with retaining (which made me an emo piece of shit the whole damn year by the way) , I realise that most of my friends are all taking major exams, and there's pretty much nothing for me to do but stay at home and fucking hell rot, really.

The past 3 days I've pretty much spent at Shi han's place doing math (YES) so at least its not been that bad. But really retaining just slaps me in the face this way, and I know i'm sounding super whiny and irritating, but THIS IS THE SADDEST HOLIDAY I'VE HAD SO FAR MY ENTIRE LIFE I'D RATHER BE IN SCHOOL AND I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT FOR THE FUCKING A LEVELS TO BE OVER.

I don't even know what I'm doing, just yesterday I woke up too late for breakfast, had frozen pound cake for lunch and salt n vinegar chips for dinner and supper. wow.

I'd pretty much do the same thing today if I didn't go out for Dinner with the guys. Which, by the way, was pretty fun except for the part where someone had to keep looking at my nipples.

I'M SORRY I HAD TO WEAR THAT SHIRT OK I APOLOGISE BUT STOP STARING AT MY NIPS!!

haha kidding man.

Had sakae with Crystal last week, and my performance was an all time low, i ate only 17 plates + 2 miso soups + 2 chawanmushis.

I fucking ate more than that when I was 2 years old, I swear I am turning into one of those anorexic bitches.

Me lugging around her OP stuff while the whole time she frolicked around topshop complaining that she saw nothing she liked, hahaha.

If I didn't know better I'd think I was one of those bored as hell husbands you see being dragged to shop with their wives.

This is this week's NEWSWEEK, and NEWSWEEK is always right, bitches.

AND THIS IS WHAT NEWSWEEK PRINTED.

What did I tell you. Please dump your useless facebook and friendster accounts and join myspace, cos it's just that much better. Serious. Finally I can be the cool one who goes "Myspace? yeah I have a myspace account. Add me. Oh, when did I create it, you ask? Oh pretty much before everyone else did, in 2005. So everyone just copied me."

ok
ok
ok

I think I'm really just too pissed and tired, been planning the class party for past couple of days, cos no one else would do it.

Maybe thats why I'm gonna sound miserable and everything, but I am seriously considering deleting this blog altogether cos, it's not what I envisioned it to be.

I started this blog to rant about things I'm pissed of at, such as the gahm.en, the irritating fucks in class, so on, but I've noticed in the past few months, it's become pretty reader-friendly and audience-oriented, like, blogging to try to please people, which really, IS NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF.

I know it's fun to read and evryone likes it and all, but really, I look at my blog and its becoming like xiaxue, ICKY ICKY POO YUCKS.

If you care enough to see my posts from 2006 you'll see what I mean, I just want an ANONYMOUS blog which no one knows about and I can say whatever I want. And I really want to say some shiz about some people but I can't cos those motherfuckers read this.

Really, I have no idea why I started revealing my identity here, it takes the mystique and attitude away from it.

It's like, "Oh Tze Kiat, your blog is so cool, I love it, lalalala."
"Oh what you write is so funny, your blog is the greatest."

I know I have quite a lot of readers but you know what.

SCREW EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FUCKTARDS READING THIS, ALL, AND I MEAN ALL OF YOU.

Yeah paul you were so right, I'm gonna restart the whole anon blog somewhere else, and I will only tell like, 5 people, I SWEAR TO MYSELF.

Cos this blog can go to hell.

P.S.
I know I might regret having said all of this tomorrow morning when I wake up, but it's MOTHERFUCKING 2 am, I am super stressed for the party tomorrow THANKS TO HOI YAN WHO NEARLY GAVE ME A CARDIAC ARREST DURING DINNER DUE TO REASONS SHE KNOWS, I am super depressed with my shitty holidays and that's just how I feel at this moment
Maybe I don't mean it, but maybe I do, we'll see.

Night night my dearest readers!

Muacks.

<3

FUCK OFF AND DIE

2007-11-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

I have been way too lazy to blog as of late, even though I have more time than ever.

And for that I won't apologize.

This week was pretty boring, I managed to play tennis with cus again despite his exams, and as we had dinner after that, Aaron called me and was like "I meet you at zouk at 11.", I was like WTF!!! I had promised him to go with him already, but why tell me so last minute?!?!?

Please!!! Dragging me to club with your NS friends is bad enough, giving me 2 hours' notice to do so is just cruel ok!
I was like, dun want!!! But he was freaking persistant, and promised to pay for my entrance, so hahaha, I went clubbing, like,

for the first time in my life. I am a good boy ok, I didn't even use the coupons for the redemption of the drinks, since I abstain from alcohol, which i believe to be from the devil himself. Clubbing is also from the devil, I won't go clubbing again, this is my first and last time.

I stayed over at his place, and we reached there at like 4 am, and I didnt even shower, i just slept....

UNTIL THIS MOTHERFUCKER AT THE CARPARK DOWNSTAIRS STARTED HORNING HIS FUCKING CAR FOR 10 MINUTES NON STOP AT 7.30 THE NEXT MORNING.

WHAT THE HELL man. I mean, can he like take the lift up to meet whoever, must he horn his fucking car non stop?! I was super sleep deprived and hence super pissed, and I remember trying to look for a glass bottle to throw down at him (to no avail).

THAT FUCKER OWES ME 5 HOURS OF SLEEP.

After that Aaron wanted me to gym at his country club with him, and I was like, "noooo... i have no sleep don't kill me please."

But he manipulated my mind ok, he ACTUALLY MADE ME FEEL SORRY FOR HIM so in the end i was dragged to JCC gym in my sleep-deprived state!

Grumble grumble... mutter gripe....

Dont worry Aaron I still love you, I just hugged you on superpoke.

...
..
.

Today was pretty fun, went to school to swim with Han Loong, Shi Han and Jerome after their paper.

You know, I waltzed into school at 11.20 am in my yellow ACJC T shirt, shorts, flip flops and dyed hair (its reddish now) while all the J2s were exiting school with dejected looks on their faces after math H2, and I felt this sensation I haven't felt in a fucking long time.

S-W-E-E-T. Like, seriously, totally sweet. I know its evil but i feel so free!!!!!!!! And happy.
All the J2s mucking around, J1 have holiday training or the CCB thing (not you joy, you being a ccb is a totally different thing).

Haha, my friends who saw me were all so freaking jealous! Bangla had more than a few things to get off his chest about my slackiness, haha, Bangla, i miss you already man! Prob won't be seeing some people in school anymore after this.... Sigh. Don't worry, seeing as to how Suhaile owes me some favours (kinky ones)... Ahem... I will get it back from him after the A's when we meet up, hahaha.

So we played water rugby, which i totally dominated (even though jerome totally cheated by tickling me when I wouldn't let go of the damn ball). And then we played this weird shooting into the net game called horse, which I came really close to winning, but lost by a razor thin margin.

We played 2 hours under the midday sun, and I got a damn nice tan, i am super happy!! But I'm pretty traumatised by Keith. As I was heading back towards the stands, Keith saw my hot body in my trunks and was like, "RAPE. RAPE."

Then he commented about my swimming trunks and the shape and size of... umm.... never mind I'd better not mention it here. I'll just quote some words from Keith, you fill in the blanks.

"Oh man, ___________ freaking huge!"

Thanks Keith I'm flattered.

At the time, I was sitting on the stands, you know the 2nd row, so keith was sitting in front of me, below me on the first, and he kept trying to shove his head close to my gonads and I had to keep pushing his head and hands away!

After that, even better, I went to toilet to piss (cos I'm not the sort who'd piss in the pool) and he went, "Tze I'm coming for you!!" As I exited the toilet, I noticed that he wasn't there anymore, so I slowly, cautiously inched my way out, cos I didn't believe he'll just disappear, I know better than that Keith Wong. As I expected, he was hiding behind the corner, at the wall near the stairs beside the cafe, waiting to pounce!

He saw that I was looking out for him and he was super disgruntled that he wasn't able to scare me, and was like, "just you wait, I will have the last laugh." And he trudged into the cafe.

So I will die (by rape) another day, too bad for keith.

After that we went to han's place to slack. His dog is super super cute i love! But too lazy to post pics now, I am tired. We watched Shutter, which is seriously not scary at all, I see worse in the mirror every morning (it takes time for me to groom myself into the stunning example of a man that you see everyday ok.)

And then Kingdom of Heaven (boring old orlando blooming retard) put me right to sleep on han loong's couch, seriously damn boring.

And while I was peacefully napping, doing no one any harm, Han was up to no good.

The sleeping angel (pics taken by han, not me, i'm not a cam whore to that extent)

*&^%$#@! put toothpaste on me!

I was like, whats going on.

Watch out han, i will get you back.

2007-10-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

I am still convinced that myspace is way better than facebook, and I will wait for stupid Singaporeans, who have recently gotten over friendster and moved on to facebook, to wake up to the realisation and start using myspace. If anyone here has a myspace, add me cos my poor neglected myspace account is freakin lonely.

A Blast From the Past

Charissa and Jeremy were hanging out at my place and they were going through my pics, and found something I've forgotten about all these years.

Sec 3 pics!! Haha, I'm not gonna put any of those with me in it cos I looked really cool back in the day.

(look at aaron ng the fuckface in the bottom left corner of the pic, who's too cool to associate with his old classmates now in acjc. )

I really miss ACS now, I should have appreciated it while I still could.

Do you see something that catches your eye in the picture above? Yes!
He's most likely going to kill me for putting this picture up, but here it is.

You used to look so adorable Keith! What happened to you?
Quote Charissa, "He went to JC and exploded!"

You used to have this way of making me feel comfortable around you....
But now when I'm within a proximity of 5 meters from you, I worry that you'll throw a tantrum and snap my neck.

It was not as if I enjoyed being your personal masseur for like the past 4 years, it's just that it's something I won't cry over. :)

I still find it hard to believe you went from that to this:

really sorry i had to take this btw.

Something you said to me at the void deck the other day really struck me deep down and hurt me keith
:'(
It was something regarding me, how I try to act big on this blog but I'm a wussy in real life.

*sniff

Umm, keith, the word is not 'wussy', it's 'nice'.

Seriously, I am the nicest friend anyone could have, a nice a guy you could possibly meet. My biggest regret in life is not being someone else so that I can be Tze Kiat's friend.

All the best for A's keith, and come back and visit me please!

...
..
.

Yesterday was results, and i finally got promoted ----> means I am freakin genius.

But seriously I'm real glad everyone in SC9 made it.
Although I was hoping for a particular fucktard in SC8 not to promote, somehow he didn't but he did anyway (?), wth.

But congrats all, see ya in 2SC9 next year!

Unless I die during the hols.

Looking at the people who did get retained this time, I felt really bad for them!
Like the table of people at the void deck all couldn't bear to turn around to look at Jing Kai cos he was like, rubbing his eyes, and was moping about damn sad, all our hearts were about to break!

Although you'd think that I'd understand what they are going through, but honestly, hahaha I don't, cos my reaction last year was kinda different.

I remember sitting in class with the result slip as everyone else left. Some of my friends were like, 'Cheer up, tze', but I wasn't actually sad, I was just very stoned, and then this asshole whom I'm not very fond of in class put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, and I was like, 'Bleah' and went to the STI, tore up the paper and threw it in the bin, and waltzed home to take a nap.

Lalalalalala, I didn't even feel the least bit shitty until Christmas!

But really, too all those who didn't make it, I guess it's hard, but should you choose to stay on, it's not so bad really. I guess meeting new friends has been pretty fun for me, though it becomes shitty when all the J2's are studying, like now.

...
..
.

With all the J2's studying for A's I've been pretty damn lonely, some &^%$#s don't even want to have lunch after church, I mean come on, you can't be studying every minute, accompany poor old me for lunch or something!

So I countdown just as anxiously as the J2s to the end of the A's.

I've been really bored, but at least this gives me the time do things I've always wanted to do, like, go on stupid meaningless adventures by myself, two days ago i went alone to explore around my estate, places I've not bothered to go to in the 5 years I've been living here.

First up, I went to this really ulu shopping center not far from my place, called ten mile junction.

What it looks like from the outside.
A ghost town.

The inside was pretty cool, there were more shops than I'd imagine, it looked really funky and junky lol!

I swear this is as much of the 'i-am-in-malaysia feeling' as you could possibly get.

haha found a thirsty hippo ripoff.

Hate sheng siong supermarkets, full of aunties and nasty smells. I swear the floors are super dirty, worse than in real markets.

Truly Discerning shoppers such as myself go to Supermarkets created for fucking expats, like Cold Storage Jelita or Fairprice Finest.

I'm gonna go and explore some graveyards next week, and i think I'll start with the one beside the PIE near CJC. : )

I love graveyards!
...
..
.

And I've just taken camera phone stalking to a whole new level! Watch out li xin,

I call it, 'mirror stalk!'

(the exclamation mark is inclusive,
like P!nk, for example.)

Oh that reminds me, if SC9 doesn't want a halloween party(which i REALLY REALLY want, hint hint), I'll probably spend the night camping at a graveyard, i love thrills!

That's all for today i guess, graveyard pictures soon!

Tool!

2007-10-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

MY 100th POST!

Awesome.

.
.
.
TODAY WAS SUCH A SUCKY DAY. I came to school for the sole purpose of collecting my result slip, only to be told that collection is on friday! What a bloody waste of my time.

But I managed to play Scrabble and Taboo in the library (during chem lecture) with yan xun, charissa, jeremy and adam, so i guess it wasn't a complete waste.

But I don't think I'll be taboo-ing again, its so disheartening to lose in taboo, for like, what, 7 times in a row. I don't think I can take any more of this!

Jeremy, Charissa.....

And Adam, the 3 of you. I will have my revenge, just you wait.

Btw, i got this pic of adam, cos last week charissa and jeremy bounded up to me like laughing retards, and sent me this pic, telling me to blog about how adam wasted food by refusing to finish it.

I was like, 'But how can I judge a person and blog about him without even knowing him? I'm way better than that! I will not stoop down to that level! I'm bigger than that!"

But today during taboo, i got to know adam for the freaking cheater he really is! He kept playing past the timer, and during scrabble, HE FREAKIN SWAPPED MY TILE FOR HIS, AND USED ALL 7 TILES TO SPELL THE WORD 'FREEDOM'.

&^$#@!!!! HE WAS AWARDED LIKE 70 MARKS FOR THAT WORD COS HE USED ALL THE TILES, WTF!!!

So, cheat, please finish your food, picky eaters will not grow big and strong, plus think of all the poor starving kids in afrique du sud, such as Nbeka (yes, him), who have to eat their toenails cos they are just so hungry.

I AM SICK OF LOSING IN BOARD/CARD GAMES. IT PISSES ME OFF!! I AM NOT A GOOD SPORT. I CAME TO WIN BITCHES!

...I really wanted to throw a huge tantrum, and I was so close to just breaking down and crying.

My luck is fucking defective, today, I was testing it out playing rock, scissors, paper against hubert, and out of 8 tries, HE WON 7 AND WE TIED THE OTHER TIME, I WAS LIKE, SWTF!!! Damn you hubert you luck-thief.

Don't look at me like that.

.
.
.
I digress, but seriously, I hate it when people mass superpoke on facebook, not only is it annoying as hell, but it also takes away all the meaning of superpoking.

I know its tempting for you fucktards to masspoke till you level up, but that is so cheap, please.

Unlike you asswipes, I take the time to poke one friend at a time.

How many people does it take to clear up after scrabble? (granted, normal people)

ONE!

How many bimbos does it take?

hahahahahah!

Something super embarrasing happened today, my mom was free so she offered to pick me up from school.

But she decided she needed to do some grocery shopping at fairprice finest at btp (which is full of disgusting expats and irritating, screaming brat kids btw (sheryl not included)). And since I didn't have my lunch yet, I made her buy me lunch at Pizza Hut in exchange for lugging her groceries around.

Wow, lunch with mom at pizza hut btp (FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT I NEVER FORGIVE AND NEVER FORGET), I mean, no one will see, right?

WRONG.

FUCKING HELL, THE WHOLE TROUPE OF NETBALL GIRLS including yini and qiao wei all swarmed in, and I tried to be cool, and tried not to seem too much like a Momma's boy (I'M NOT!)

Damnation, just when it was already super embarassing, who would waltz in with his girlfriend but SHAHIR RAHMAN my old friend who sat beside me in like, sec one.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

Bad idea to eat there. OK FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT HAVE LUNCH DATES WITH MOMMY, TODAY WAS THE FUCKING EXCEPTION!!!!!

Anyway, its late, like about 5 hours past hoi yan's bedtime. I gonna sleep soon, and wake up at about 8, slowly eat breakfast, shower and stroll to the bus stop, and reach school late at 11 am. Feels SOOooo good not having to do PW in the morning like the rest of my loser class. :D (I am very well aware that some of you might be reading this during PW right now)

Anyway, I am super lazy, was supossed to gym after sch yesterday but ended up chit chatting for damn long with liz over lunch at the bukit timah market place, and having to go straight home for CHINESE tuition bleah. Anyway liz, talking with you was pretty cool!

Hiya super bimbos!

It's insane, the amount of gossiping i've done the past 3days, I feel like that bitch from mean girls.

It seeems like as the moment I finish gossiping with friend A, I turn around and Gossip about friend A to friend B, and I'm pretty damn sure friend A is saying something false about me!!!

Stupid friend A you know who you are!!!

P.S. please don't bug me to blog more, I know that I'm super entertaining and brilliant, and my word is like gold to you, but it's not as if I'm getting paid for this (not like some commercialized bitch) , and nagging me to blog for your satisfaction is just annoying. I mean, you can;t expect poor old me to keep coming to the computer everyday, trying to drain my brain of every ounce just to find the least bit of inspiration for you right?

I've blogged like, 8 times last week, so just be contented. (Plus, I realise that if I blog too much, people will think I'm some fatty dutch, pissed off at my life, sitting in front of the com all day with no life and nothing better to do than to rant into his blog like some loser.)

BUT IT'S NOT TRUE, I HAVE A LIFE, HONEST, BELIEVE ME!

2007-10-21T05:50:00.000-07:00

When I was like primary 6, I was super pro at this game, which was all the rage back then......

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!

I used to be damn obsessed with it, like, in class I would go through the dance steps in my mind instead of paying attention (if I had paid attention I would have scored like at least 280 for psle).

Then I went to ACS(I) where they would kill you if you profess to like DDR, and so I took my passion and locked it away, becoming a closet DDR fan. And slowly I totally forgot about it and have never played DDR again since.

I used to be pro.

Like, super super pro. And couple days ago, i went to my country club and was SUPER THRILLED to see the old DDR machine repaired. I wanted to see if I still had the moves after like, what, 6 years?!?!

Ok please the vid is super embarassing ok, PEOPLE IN SCHOOL MUST NOT KNOW ABOUT IT PLEASE. I am BARING MY SOUL by posting such material here. You have the privilege of knowing about this secret blog, and so I trust you (unless it was some blabber mouth who told you about this blog, aka yan xun.) If you (especially you charissa!) break my heart by putting it somewhere else, I promise I WILL NEVER BLOG SUCH RAW EMOTIONAL STUFF ABOUT MYSELF AGAINNN!!!

I'M UP FOR A DDR CHALLENGE ANYDAY!!!!

Not as good as i used to be, but still groovy nonetheless!
The title of the song is, like "do it all night" by a band called 'Erotica'.

OMG WHEN I WAS PRIMARY 6 I HAD FREAKIN NO IDEA. HAHAHAHAHA. Now I realise.

Anyway today after church I followed Brian to buy his weekly 4D (I know the irony) and I decided to buy 2 numbers for fun.

I picked 8246 and 9740.
And 9720 was the 3rd prize damnit!!!!

Coming so close... it makes me want to... want to do it again, i know i will win this time, i just know it, I will strike for sure, i'm not some disillusioned gambling addict!!!!!!! Yes, Yes, yes, 4D is a viable method of earning money!!!!! WWEEEHEHEHHHEEEE!

We also went to watch Superbad. Seriously don't waste your money and time, the show really is superbad. Hur hur.

2007-10-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up late cos my lessons only start at 9 plus, plus I can't be bothered to attend morning assembly.

I saw 8 missed calls on my mobile.
WOW WHY SO POPULAR ALL OF A SUDDEN, i thought.

Turns out they were all from Yan Xun. I thought to myself, what a nice, concerned friend he is, maybe he's worried that i'm dreadfully ill, or that I'm too traumatised by what happened to me last year at this time that I've gone mad, or that he simply misses me. :)

Turns out the bugger just wanted me to get my ass to school cos half the class was ponning the whole stretch of H1, math and chem lectures from 9.10 to 11.50 to play Taboo in the library.

Mass taboo was super fun, until the other group freaking cheated again!!! I wanted to cry so badly, but I held my composure. At least I keep my dignity, you taboo-cheating bastards.

But seriously, it was super fun, ngo and mark from SC4 joined, plus the librarian wanted to ban us from the library cos of the noise we were making.

I got sick of the taboo cheating and went to check SB9 who were playing scrabble (Such Geeks!)
First I sat at farid and yan xun's table, where they were spelling words like, 'cunt', 'aqua' and 'ipod'. -_-

It was SO NOT INTELLECTUAL lah, I felt stupid just sitting there, so I complained and shifted myself to the other scrabble table with the IBP(that's you hoi yan, go figure!), charissa, jeremy and samuel the student who is depriving some more-deserving African kid out there. Tool! okok kidding.

In the end I decided to help hoi yan who only started to score with my assistance. I'm just so pro.

I mean, in sec 3 I once was forced to represent acs in some lame ass scrabble competition by my english teacher, (remember krishnan?), and despite my protest, she totally played with my mind, saying things like, "your grammar and vocabulary are impeccable, we need you on the team, yada yada yada." So I ended up being pulled there, NEVER PLAYING SCRABBLE IN MY LIFE UNTIL THAT DAY, NOT KNOWING ANY RULES AT ALL.

Obviously I lost the first round, pissing the other ac teammates off. But my sheer brilliance allowed me to pick it up quickly and i won the next two. MY FIRST TIME PLAYING SCRABBLE MAN HOW PRO IS THAT.

Hahaha Winnie was super zai, she flipped open a random yearbook and immediately saw L.oo Mi.ng Yaw on that page!!! He looked just as retarded back then, only his specs were uglier. No, wait, I take that back. It is still just as bad.

Oh yeah, keith (yes, you, keith wong) I wanted to do a tribute to you too but i hafta leave that to tomorrow, its too late now. :(

It is now midnight, results are in 12 hours, and hoi yan has been sleeping for the past 3.

I will go to bed, toss and turn and not sleep again due to the trauma of retaining.

So goodnight.

2007-10-16T04:15:00.000-07:00

I have perverted friends : (

Chris, Gerald and I were at plaza sing that day before resident evil, and they were discussing how the models on Maxim and FHM never smile.

They asked me, like, if I noticed it.

I don't, cos if I ever do read FHM or Maxim, it's for the interesting articles and hard-hitting journalism, nothing else. I SWEAR.

(wow i can add colours to my words! i just found out lol. from now on every swear word will be highlighted a nice fucking red. )

Bitches.

But yeah, I realise it's true. You don't really get sweet smiles, all you get is

SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAHAHAHHAHAAHHHA.

(Denise, this is how you do a proper slut-face, :D )

Okok, please please PLEASE don't let this picture leave this blog or find its way to friendster or facebook cos it'd be bad for me.

I like taking the bus home with Li Ying. Cos that irritating indon bimbo is not around to piss me off. (I declare war, dory.)

Nice long bus rides with you are so enjoyable.
Good thing dory stays in like, lake toba.

In other news, my grandma is super cute!

We were at my grandpa's birthday dinner at some shitty chinese restaurant, and near the toilets there was this half-stepped on cockroach that was pitifully struggling and moving its legs about to no avail.

My grandma was like, (in cantonese), "Poor thing, should kill it now so it won't suffer."

And proceeded to step on it! hahahahahah.

My grandma is cooler than your grandma.

Can't help putting this here. Doesn't he look like the cute lil' boy sitting on the floor who lost his mommy?

2007-10-14T08:00:00.001-07:00

Ok ok fine, I just got a Facebook account, but its an EXPERIMENTAL one. I still think facebook is disgusting, I hate it still, and I WILL NEVER BE A FACEBOOK WHORE LIKE YOU.

Seriously, my facebook acc is umm, a social experiment.

FACEBOOK HAS REACHED NEW LEVELS OF GAYNESS!!!

I mean, what the hell, throw sheep at your friends, turn them into vampires..... BAH.

SWTF.

Anyway....

Today on my way to holland v to meet pow (happy belated birthday man), there was this fucker indian cheebye on the bus next to me. Damn irritating piece of shit.

Here he is now. The whole damn time he was peeking at my phone while I was trying to sms. Fucking busybody, cannot-mind-your-own-indian-business.

So I got so fed up, i typed into the sms screen on my phone, 'YOU THINK PEEKING VERY FUNNY IS IT? WANNA DIE AR. FUCK OFF.'

And he turned away. Coward. So I took a pic of him.

I damn stalker right? Can't help it.

TO ALL THOSE WHO THINK BLATANTLY LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PHONE WHILE THEY TYPE IS A FUN ACTIVITY TO DO, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.

Burn in hell, stupid motherfuckers. Seriously.

This:

My favourite feeling in the world: Coming back from a night movie at great world/ cus's place/ holland v at 11.30 pm on bus 75, when there's no one else on the bus, no other retarded commuters.

Nice.

2007-10-13T22:35:00.001-07:00

haha I was at Marcus's place doing shiz with his laptop camera, and after taking this pic, he was like, "Eh you look a bit like Federer!"

Federer.

You know what that means?

IT MEANS I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS AND SHOULD JUST TURN PRO NOW!!!

Hahaha.

My Tribute to Marcus (The cool dude in white)

I remember having been seperated from Ryan Mathews, being moved next to you. I thought to myself, "Oh man, that means the smarter student (me) would have to help out the weaker student out (you)." Kid!!! haha.

YOU WERE SUPER ANAL OK! I hated you for being a prefect! Always out to get me, always so goody 2 shoes!
ALWAYS threatening us when we brought food into class, always nagging us for using handphones.

HAHAHA. Remember the look on your face when I returned to my seat, having collected the physics paper from Au Pui Fan, having gotten like, 2nd in class? You were like, "WTF!!!! OF ALL PEOPLE TO GET 2nd IN CLASS FOR PHYSICS, WHY TZE KIAT?!?!"

HAHAHA I WAS DAMN AMUSED BY THE REACTION OF EVERYONE, BUT YOURS WAS THE MOST RETARDED OF ALL!! YOU WERE LIKE GONNA EXPLODE.

AND I STILL HATE YOU FOR LIVING 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM ORCHARD ROAD.

But seriously, there's nothing i like more than tennis-ing at your place. Your place is gonna be my 2nd home after your ibdp ok?

Speaking of which, remember the time you tennised at my place, and when you arrived, you said, "Wah Lau I can't come your place again man, the bus ride is damn long! It's freakin far!!"

LOL HOW DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN GOING TO YOUR PLACE ALL THIS TIME MAN!!!

I'm really sorry I had to get SIX DISTINCTIONS beat you for the O's, I really don't deserve it, I think I sucked the life force out of you when sitting beside you. >:)

Marcus, my dear friend, you have taught me integrity, patience, goodness, blah blah blah.

Thanks for always being there for me.

But above all, you are my friend because

YOU LIVE 5 MINUTES FROM ZOUK DAMNIT.

2007-10-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

Emo post warning!!

Tribute to my funky Indian best friend.
I know you're always too busy to meet up (fuck that lai kah hoe) so I had to kope this pic from your facebook lol!

It's been two years since ACS(I) man! I miss sitting gossiping with you in class, I miss the retardedness of talking to you, I miss the inside jokes and I miss your indian nonsense.

Wassup ryan. Ding here. You always could call me whatever you want. I remember the 1st day of sec 3 when I first saw you I was like, "is that dude indian cos i think he looks mat also."

Damn!!! I forgot how, but we ended up sitting next to each other after switching places with Siva (whom I haven't heard from since by the way, nor his ridiculous twin.)

THAT WAS LIKE THE BESTESTY BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME!

I'm old, my memory fails me, and I don't remember much of what we laughed about.

But remember the time that Lydia got that fugly perm? We never let it rest, HAHAHAHAH.
PBF PBF EWWWWW.

And that shitfuck physics teacher of ours, samson. Remember, he was such a bastard to me damnit! Ridiculous, trickses, false, thinking his fats were muscles, and the 'purple nips' soccer incident.
Plus the ten minute talk on bootleg Nalgene water bottles! We never let that rest either.

Remember we would like, complain about the school food when in actual fact ACS(I) food is so much better than anything in JC. What brats we were.

Remember the food sneaking?? I do. I distinctly remember the pokka Iced Tea bottles you would so kindly leave under my desk at the end of each day.

Oh also recall, Time-Sharing my ipod with you! haha. Miss that green thing. CURSE THE FUCKER WHO STOLE MY IPOD!!!!

Curse Miss Au for jumbling the seating arrangements and seperating us man!!!! At least we didn't have to sit with ming hao. If I did I'd just kill myself.

Plus all that gossiping over Lindsay Lohan, how ridiculous was that.... But I'm proud of it!
:)

Raj, after your A's we WILL hang out. And if you say you're busy again, I know where to find you...

How's Aishwarya Rai doing?

2007-10-13T04:45:00.001-07:00

Hi lunch club, love you.

I love the breakfast club too. Though not as much. I kid. Anyway, I just wanna say that, You can trust the breakfast club. Even if you did something out of the ordinary, Even if you did something that would under normal circumstances, arouse suspicion, We will not look you with a judging eye. Because you are one of us now.

I

Love

The breakfast club!
(Even though we are having dinner...)
(Dorotthy not invited.) :P

THE BREAKFAST CLUB WILL NOT SPECULATE ABOUT THE UNORTHODOX ACTIONS OF ONE OF ITS MEMBERS!!

Another Random Tan Ghee pic. : )
Stinky,
you are so essential to this blog.

OOOH LOOK I'M SO COOL I DRINK!!!!
Next i'll smoke.

Wassup Cus! Don't despair. We go kap again k.

Denise looking sluttier than usual. The person behind her as well.

Btw,
I HATE 1SB9!!! CHARISSA AND FARID I WILL GET MY REVENGE FOR MY CLASS!!!!!

GGAAHHHHHHHH

2007-10-12T09:14:00.001-07:00

This picture contains a coconut and a coconut head.

TAN GHEE!!! You are the official posterboy of this blog and hence you will receive a cut of my profits every month!

My dearest smell-like-roses-after-PE friend, I hereby christen you with a nickname: Stinky.

: )

Anyway last week I smsed the people in class with the following message.

"Hey guys, give one last push for tomorrow's paper. After that you can look forward to enjoying yourselves...............................Doing pw."

Muahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha.

Just when I was doing the evil laugh of satisfaction, I received a reply from non other than Stinky himself.

"Haha shit u man... Maybe you will have something to look forward too as well after tml... Either NS or poly :) "

MY WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN AROUND ME!!!

STINKY HOW COULD YOU!!!!

Everyone around me has been whining like a bitch, going, "Oh, no, I'm going to retain!!!"

Well guess what.

I CAN'T RETAIN. NO NOT EVEN IF I WANTED TO.

I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!

.
.
.

P.S. I LOVE YOU SC9 THE SENTOSA OUTING WAS THE BEST, REALLY.

I'm sorry I had to pangsei all of you for captain's ball today to go watch Resident Evil with Chris and Grld.
But I just can't help it.

ARGH MISSYPOO ALREADY!!!! : (

AND FACEBOOK IS GAY MYSPACE RULES.

2007-10-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Tried doing the Schizo Gollum scene from LOTR two towers today.
If you think its not good, FUCK YOU.
It was incredibly difficult, i had to do the pause-resume shiz on my freaking phone for damn bloody long.

So appreciate my efforts.

2007-10-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

Facebook facebook facebook sucks.

I have a Myspace with a grand total of 8 friends now (including Tom) and I'm perfectly happy!

Myspace is free of disgusting Singaporeans.

I hereby swear not to use facebook or friendster.

2007-10-09T07:13:00.001-07:00

Part 1: The enjoyable lunch

Had sushi with Aaron, JK, Ben and bimbo couple days ago. I realise lunching with them is more than fun. Its criminal.

Throughout the whole lunch Louisa kept trying to kick Aaron under our sunken table, and so he pulled out her super smelly shoe. Then, SHE FREAKING CRAWLED UNDER THE TABLE TO GET IT. And then, AA had this SUPER SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE and was like, "OI!!"

Oh man the people at the other table must have gotten the wrong idea.

Throughout the lunch we kept eating the fish off the sushi and squashing the rice under the plates. HAHAHA the manager was obviously pissed and came to our table, saying, "Please be reminded that wastage of food will be charged accordingly."

So we stopped the rice squashing and put the rice in a plastic bag instead. We are officially outlaws damnit.

Bimbo.

Part 2: The FUCKED UP, I-NEVER-WILL-DINE-AT-YOUR-CRAP-HOLE-AGAIN Experience

I used to eat at Pizza Hut at btp alot. Like almost everyweek.

I hereby swear never to eat there again.

I was with Kid, and we freaking waited outside the damn place for like 10 minutes for someone to serve us. They didn't.

I looked at the little service counter where the Maitre'D would usually be positioned. There was this piece of paper stuck on it.

"Recommended Guidelines for greeting customers"

"Dear Sir/Madam, good morning/ afternoon/ evening. How many people would be dining today?

An example: A table for two? I have just the right place for you sir, please follow me."

OOOH HOW POLITE.

Well, apparently, it really was just RECOMMENDED guidelines.

Cos after standing there hungry for ten minutes, I finally waved to this useless bitch waitress walking past, and told her I wanted a table for two.

All I got was a "Yah, wait."

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE "A table for two? I have just the right place for you sir, please follow me." ???

After another 5 minutes we finally sat down. And they FUCKING DID NOT GIVE US THE FUCKING MENUS.

So I took them from the front counter myself. When I asked another waitress if I could order, she nodded her head and walked away. Ten minutes later and the order was not taken. FUCK LAH. I asked another waiter. He acknowledged me BUT AGAIN WE WAITED AND NO ORDER WAS TAKEN.

LIKE FUCK PLEASE. IT TOOK ME FUCKING 25 MINUTES TO TAKE MY ORDER, I TIMED IT.

AND WHEN THE FOOD CAME THEY GAVE ME THE WRONG ORDER.

Look at the fucking tables behind me... The dishes probably fucking left from last week. FUCKING USELESS INEFFICIENT PIECES OF SHIT.

BAH!

I WAS REALLY CONTROLLING MY SELF FROM SMASHING ALL YOUR FUCKING UGLY PLATES YOU CRAPPERS!!!!

WHERE IS MY FUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE???!
I'm not going to say the details here, but I have to tell you this:

ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WORKED THERE, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, WAS OF A PARTICULAR RACE.

(Look for me personally to find out more.)

FUCKED AS HELL USELESS, RIDICULOUS ASSWIPES.
BOYCOTT THE STUPID BITCHES,
FUCK PIZZA HUT BTP.

2007-10-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

My super-opportunistic dad went, "Your exams over right? Come grocery shopping with me, I need someone to help carry stuff, and the beef at carrefour is on discount."

So there went my precious half a day, which I would have otherwise spent more productively lounging around my room all day and not showering (my usual holiday routine) which would have turned me into a hobo.

But no. I just had to be dragged to carrefour. Ugh.

Does anyone know what a bramutaseur is?

Well kids, apparently its a pressurised can of evian mineral water which costs a reasonable $10.90.

What does it do, you ask?

Filtered over 150 years through the french alps, Evian has a natural balance of purity and minerals, giving you a refreshing sensation you've never felt before!

Directions: Spritz onto face, wait 5 seconds, clean off with tissue.

OH WOW!!! You know what that means??

It means, instead of buying normal evian (which, by the way, costs 3 times as much as volvic),
you can instead choose to purchase a pressurised can of it, at all but 11 times the price of the normal evian for mere mortals.

And... YOU USE IT ON YOUR FACE!!! WOW!!! SUPER EFFECTIVE AND NOT AT ALL BULLSHIT NOR A FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY!!!

Imagine you're at a kopitiam, where the people around you are mostly drinking kopi-o, and someone in your proximity whips out a bottle of evian and starts drinking it, thinking, 'Oh, look at the class I'm exuding by consuming this exquisite luxury of a mineral water brand.'

Everyone turns and looks in his direction. They gasp and among themselves, start muttering, "Oh, my, God, look at that distinguished gentleman over there, sipping pristinely at his bottle of evian. Evian!!! What a man of class and stature he must be!"

And then, you outdo him by taking out the Evian bramutaseur (or however the damn thing's spelt), and in full view of everyone, not looking at all stupid, spray your face with it.

Now, everyone is STUNNED.

GASP! Who is this, who would dare use holy evian for such a purpose! What a visionary! Much like feeding caviar to the dogs! This... THIS MUST BE THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE!!!

ALL HAIL EVIAN MINERAL WATER, NOW AVAILABLE TO SPRAY YOUR GODDAMN UGLY FACE WITH!!!!

You know something? Try this instead.

Its called a tap, stupid bitches.

What's cool about this picture?
Scroll down to find out.

Y'alls gettin' drunk ta-nite, biatches!

2007-10-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Went to Marcus's place for night tennis couple nights ago. Haha. Owned his ass! Haha, maybe not. Anyway I was snooping around his stuff when something caught my eye.

Ya see it?

Here it is! Haha. No wonder he was so pms whenever he missed his shots.
Sorry Marcus! Don't wanna know why you have that in your room.

And you owe me half a corona! Haha.

Hanged out at Han Loong's place, and watched south park, kill bill vol 1 and Hero.
Shit, kill bill is awesome. I'm downloading vol 2 as we speak. Damn i'm so gonna catch up on all the damn fucking movies I haven't watched yet.

Han Loong's dog is seriously super cute! Attention whore doggy.

Han and Han serenading me. Haha, when they heard me sing, they were like, "Kiat we should form a band and you can be the lead singer!"
I went, "Aww, sucks...' *blush*
I am such a seriously good singer. Sheryl can be a testament to that. : )

You know, no matter how dumb a person is, or how low a person's PSLE is, everyone of us is talented at something.

I've discovered (Academics aside) that my talents are all pretty much fucking useless.

-Gollum inpersonation.
-Dance Dance revolution (I am damn good ok, I can pass 9-footer tracks)
-Being cool ('sup yo.)

If anyone thinks you can challenge me to DDR, I'll be waiting bitches.

.
.
.
.
On monday I climbed the back gate. Not cos I needed to pon, but rather cos I JUST FREAKING NEEDED TO TAKE 14 FROM THE ACS(i) BUT STOP.

But then I freaking scratched my right shin against the gate on the way down. Damnit I'm really out of practice. Haven't ponned school this year too many times.

So it bled and got scabby. And when something gets scabby I'm bound to peel it.

So it bled again. Bled till I was gonna faint.

But I decided to make a good thing out of it.

Meet Mr. Bloody Smiley!!!

Damn cute right.
Haha the colour from my shitty camera phone looks pretty fake but I swear its my blood k.
You can check my leg for the scab next time you see me or something.

From this you can probably tell that

-I'm going nuts
-I have way too much time on my hands.

AND THATS BECAUSE ALL THE FREAKING J2s ARE STUDYING!!!!
DAMNIT THIS IS THE SHITTIEST POST EXAM PERIOD EVER.

I'm just gonna download desperate housewives season 3 and watch all day long.

oh.
one more thing.

Hey nic and mattheus.

Told you I was a camera phone stalker.

You've just been SWTFed.

To round off.

We wants it.
We needs it.
Sneaky little hobbitses.
They stole it from us.
My... PRECIOUS.

2007-10-04T11:13:00.001-07:00

Hi. Welcome to my bedroom. I'd like to point out to you that my phone stand is one fucking meter from my bed.

So to all those who know me personally, here's the point.

If you call my handphone and I do not answer it, it is because it is on 'nap mode', whereby it is silent, and vibration-less.

It is on nap mode because I AM FUCKING TRYING TO SLEEP.

I am trying to sleep because I AM FICKING TIRED!

So please, should you try frantically calling my hp or smsing me, and I still do not reply, it means I AM TAKING A NAP. And it means YOU SHOULD NOT CALL MY HOUSEPHONE AND WAKE ME UP JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T ANSWER MY HANDPHONE.

UNLESS IT IS A FUCKING LIFE OR DEATH MATTER, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM WAKING ME UP BY CALLING THE HOUSEPHONE. My sleep is MY life or death matter.

Call my hp, leave a message if you must. When I wake up, and find that you have tried to contact me, and decide that you are significant enough for me to attend to, then I will call you back.

If not, it means I don't really like you, and that you can go to hell, or keep calling my handphone until I finally pick up your call.

I DO NOT WAKE UP FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING. IF lee hs.ien l.oong called, he would still have to wait. For him, especially longer. IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT ME, YOU WILL BE PATIENT.

I don't like being woken up by the phone cos I ALWAYS AM A FUCKING ZOMBIE FOR THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I don't even know what I'm saying to you then.

You could go, "Boo hoo hoo my cat just died, and I just found out that my favourite HSM star is a slut who is an exhibitionist like yourself!"

I would go, "Eh... Yes I like eating at Holland V but cannot afford it."

Something like that.

Anyone caught distributing my home phone number will be executed.

2007-10-04T02:41:00.001-07:00

Promos over.
So what.

Sigh. Chem paper was a fucking bitch that bit me in the ass. After the paper today you could see everyone going, 'yay! its over lets go town.'

Not me. Sometimes reality just slaps you in the face. Being a retainee has made me such a loser. All my J1 friends went out with their respective sec school friends. All my J2 friends are studying. I pretty much had nothing better to do today.

So I did pretty much the only thing left for me to do.

I went home to sweep the floor.

On the bright side, my room is really clean now....

Soon the J2s will be out of school. The J1s will be doing pw. And I will be all alone in this world.
Sad ain't it.

So lonely.

To my J2 friends, here's a tribute to you.

Chris. You're the one I'll be missing the most k. We've been through so many ups and ups and there's been no one better to chill with. We even got expelled together :)

Gerald. Sorry for the unglam camera phone-stalker pic. Haha.
Thanks for always having an opinion on things and being so smart cos I sometimes need to be brought back down to earth cos my PSLE is a MIND-NUMBING 263 BABY!!!! WOO HOO!!

Keith. Again, camera-phone stalker pic.
(About that... A fair warning to all of you reading this. If I happen to walk by you holding my phone pretending to sms, than yes, i'm probably stalking you and taking your pic too. Even if i'm holding the phone to my ear and talking to someone, then, yes I'm stalking you as well. )

Keith, You've always been great to have around. Even though you constantly make me your bitch, your slave, your ho, your whatever. And you treat me like shit. And you keep trying to outrage my modesty. And you keep trying to literally bite me, and so on.
I strangely will miss seeing you, this familiar figure in the void deck.

Still......

Don't hit/hate me for saying this.....

But I look forward to not having to massage you again. :)

Unless you come back in your army uniform to visit next year.

And Shi Han, for some reason I haven't got a single pic of you. Weird. Lol I'll get one soon.
School will suck without having you around too. Cool being your classmate 4 years straight through ACS(I). Go study!!!

Okok end of emoness. Back to things that really matter.

Yep Han Loong I'll be missing you too but that's not the point of this pic.

BEWARE ALL GUYS!!!!
Certain species of girlfriends, such as the Intimatus Parasitae will hook on to you, be freaking possessive and suck you till you're dry!!!!!!

When you try to break up with the vampiress, she will HOUND YOU DOWN and FINISH YOU OFF by stalking you, spying on you to see if you're seeing someone else, and then confronting you while you try to hook up with some other girl.

GF:"WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?!"

EXBF:"Umm (inserts gf's name), I thought we agreed not to see each other!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT AND YOU KNOW IT!!!! *sob* *sob* I LOVED YOU AND GAVE ALL I HAD FOR YOU!!! AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!?!"

Muahahhaha.

OKOK RCHASISA (I jumbled your name so the fools reading this don't know who you are. )
I AM KIDDING DON'T KILL ME PLEASE.

The following scene took place at the library.

YN: "Ooh, my shoulders are aching.... Ooh, if only someone could help me..."
HY: "Come YN, let me help you."
(HY massages YN)
YN: " OOH! Feels SOOO good. Mmmmm....."
HY: " OH yini.... your shoulders... they're so... So strong and muscular! Just sheer pleasure to caress!"
YN: "Oh joy... your strokes... So deep and fluid... You should be a professional! "
HY: "OH I WAS!!! But my clients all got too old and died of STDs."

haha thats what you get for being slutty in the school library. ;)

Okok gotta tennis with marcus. We agreed to play without shirts! woohoo. More on the whole shirtless episode in the next post, promise. but one last thing....

LOOK AT THIS FUCK FACE I MEAN SERIOUSLY HE APPLIED TO BE A MODEL FOR LIME MAGAZINE AND LIME ACCEPTED HIM WHAT THE FUCK.

How low can they drop their standards? Getting male ugly betties like him to pose for their 'fashion' spread. EEw.

Look at his FAT FUCK FACE!!! I mean, i have nothing against ugly people (like keith wong)
but it pisses me off when THEY, THINKING THAT THEY ARE GOOD LOOKING, ARE LOST IN THEIR STUPID FANTASIES AND NEED TO BE SLAPPED TO BE BROUGHT BACK DOWN TO EARTH.

(kidding keith!)

HELLO!!! UGLY MEANS DON'T TRY TO BE A MODEL, DON'T ACT CUTE AND TAKE NEOPRINTS, TRY TO BE AS UN-ANNOYING AS POSSIBLE CAN!!!!!

Bog nose aside (that will be corrected when I have the money to see Woffles Wu), I am so gorgeous but even I don't have the ego to be a model or plaster my face over the internet, even though I'm more than handsome enough to.

Oh yeah... and

Happy Birthday paul. I miss you and you nintendo Wii. I'm gonna hang out at your place like EVERYDAY for the next month so BE AT HOME NIGGER!!!!

Okok running late, byes.

More tomorrow.

You're welcome Sheryl.

2007-10-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

Ok I lied. Sue me.

On friday we did the GP paper. I was in the MPH and there was this really good looking guy sitting somewhere in my proximity.

Anyway, he had this really nice deep blue coloured AC sweater, much nicer than the ugly dumpy black-blue ACJC ones you'd see.

After the paper, the poor handsome dude attempted to take off the sweater, but ended up like having his shirt half come off as well!

Poor handsome dude!!!!

I felt really bad for him, like the people sitting around him were like chuckling. Good thing it was mostly guys sitting near him.

It went something like this.

BAHHHHHHH!!!!

To the good looking dude, don't worry, they may laugh but they will never get 'A' for bio like you will.

P.S. OF COURSE THE GOOD LOOKING DUDE MENTIONED HERE IS ME YOU FREAKING IMBECILES!!!! NO ONE IN ACJC IS GOOD LOOKING BUT ME.

2007-09-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

What are you doing here?

You should be mugging.

Go away.

I won't blog till after promos.

Go and mug too suckers.

2007-09-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

See, this is why i hate studying.
No kidding.

Mmmmm Pepperidge Farm.... <3

<3 style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_mqMcsjktjBk/Rvpjx8LLJhI/AAAAAAAAAPs/NliTxg8Fsnc/s320/P7080005.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5114510036450354706" border="0">
PeiShan's mom must be blind... I look so adorable in the class photo....
If I were to meet myself, I'd just be totally charmed out! BOTH WAYS!
Look at that sweet photogenic smile, that strong, hot bod. Man.

What I'd give to be me....

Elizabeth is our well-respected chairperson of the class. Her infamous scandals outside the classroom have not dented her approval ratings... Yet. (Look at Tan Ghee in the photo... HHAHA!)

Today Yx, her, Rethi, Tan Ghee, Yini, Winnie and most importantly, me, had a game of taboo in the library.

I warned them before the game that I was pretty good at it. And true to my word, I helped my group to decimate them, by 65 points to 31. Yan Xun was such a sore loser after that, he wouldn't speak to me.

I mean, its just a game! And a pretty redundant and useless childish game for that matter. No one actually cares.

I hate spoilt brats and sore losers.

The one trying to hide is Hoi Yan.
She was too embarrassed to show her face cos of Sheryl and I teamed up in mixed doubles to DESTROY Yan Xun and her in tennis. Sheryl and I should go pro. We mopped the court clean with those two I swear.

Sheryl dumbfounded them with her 360 degree backhand, while I owned them with my Federer forehand.

At the end, Hoi Yan cried out, "STUPID RACKET!!!!" and promptly smashed her racket into the ground, and sobbed uncontrollably, while Yan Xun gave me his water bottle and demanded a urine sample for a dope test.

Sorry if i'm just too pro for you but I can't help the way I are (ha. ha.).

Losing twice in a day was pretty hard for Yan Xun to take.....

I think its the middle finger??

Tan Ghee smells good after PE :)
heh heh.

We went to the aircon lab today, and the aircon was not on yet, so....

Tan Ghee sat, dejected-looking, in front of the fan. AHHAAHHAAH.
What would this blog be without Tan Ghee.
You go, fellow ACS(I)an. YEAH!

ACS(I) makes Yan Xun jealous.

gone.

So there.

2007-09-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

Tsk Tsk Tsk. These are the empty seats where SC10 would usually seat for morning assembly.
Story time.

This is Nbeka. He wants to go to school and learn so that he can get a job to support himself.
But he can't.
Cos his family is dead.
And he has no money.

This is Samuel, from SC10. Who shouldn't know about this blog unless some idiot told him like he told everyone else.

Samuel here has it all: Money, a roof over his head, happiness, and enrollment at a leading Junior College in Singapore.

Samuel skipped school today.
Not because he was sick.
But rather, he and his classmates collaborated, and declared today a day off for themselves.

It makes you wonder.
Who should have the place in school.
Samuel or Nbeka.
Its horrible to see students have everything take it all for granted.

I myself was born into a family living below the poverty line. (My real mom's dutch hence i look like such a hot eurasian. Cos I am.) I had to work at windmills at the age of 3, to earn 0.5 euros per day for my family, and I would longingly gaze at the school building I would pass every day during my 21-mile walk to and from work, just wishing I had the chance to study.
Thankfully I was adopted by my Singaporean parents and now, I treasure all that I have.

I will never be a spoilt brat.

Hi Li Xin. :)
(or however you spell your name cos I don't know)
(I know, I'm such a cameraphone stalker.)

This would be Sheryl.
Sheryl is a part-time student, full-time brat.
She sleeps till 2 pm on non-school days.
And, yes, she skipped school today as well.
She can be found at KAP, or Guthrie.
Her contact number is....(scroll below)

Nah. Haha.

This is some cheapo can of barley that listed 'Semen' as its first ingredient.
Not kidding. I took a pic of the ingredient list but its not clear.
So, your loss.

Today Yan Xun pulled me aside, and said this to me.

"I am so loving AC culture. I regret going to SJI. AC guys have the most fun... The ACSperience is better than anything I could possibly imagine. ACS forever. "

He then slipped on an AC tie and paraded himself about the class.

I'm happy for him.

To the SC9 sluts who ponned school today, (including Tan Ghee), you missed out on a lot of hints I swear. Suckers.

I don't have time now, but on my next post, I add a certain group of people to to the top 5 that I hate.

So go and mug now suckers.

2007-09-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Dear SC9 fuckfaces reading this in the level 3 com lab, please go back to doing your PW and paying attention to Forrest.

Don't have time to blog now. Maybe later.

Maybe.

2007-09-21T07:58:00.001-07:00

In case you didn't know why I don't have a tagboard, it's because it's MY blog, I AM KING, and only my opinion matters here. So there.

Yesterday Denise and Shuqi those 2 sluts ponned school.

Their excuse?

They ate dinner together and both got food poisoning.

Whatever, Diarrhoea girls. -_-

So poor Yini became the lone slut in class and like a black widow, had to find companionship, to seduce first, than devour whole.

And her first victim came in the form of poor, unsuspecting Tan Ghee.

Yini: Come, Tan Ghee.... I have something to show you...

Yini: Mmmm...Closer.....

Yini: Closer still, loves......
Tan Ghee: What is it my dear platonic friend?.....

Tan Ghee: Gaaa!!!! OH NO I'M TRAUMATISED FOREVER!!!!

Yini: Wha.... HOW COULD YOU BREAK MY HEART. LOOK INTO MY EYES AND TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!!! YOU MEN ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!

Soon, even she even had a strangely subdued Yan Xun eating out of her clammy, cold hands.

Yini: Heh heh. He doesn't know you're taking our pic. Just between us, i think his huge muscular physique will last me very long. He went to the gym yesterday!

Stupid Yini ducked as I was taking this pic. Stupid stupid!
Look how hypnotised Yx is.

I don't know why I think it was my lucky day.
For the 5th time on this blog, IT'S CRUMPLER FLAMING TIME!!!

Why the fuck do you people wanna even own one. They are ridiculously ugly. Fucking expensive, and are so retarded looking I don't even consider this to be a passing fad.

What, you think that ugly little man logo is cute izzit?

Your friend/crush/idol/slut is stupid enough to own one, thus you should get one izzit?

Fucking fucking hell.

Take those 3 in the pic for example. What impression do you get of each of them when you see this pic?

Intellectual?

Self-confident?

Individually unique?

Bah! All I see are 3 himbos with ugly bags walking in a line, wasting space and wasting oxygen as they breathe.

Now, to the part you all came here to read about.... ME : D

During Bio class I scratched a pimple and so much blood came out, I fainted.
I went, "urrrghhhh"and hit the table and the next thing I remembered, Yini had shoved through the crowd to get through to me and was desperate to give me CPR even though I had awoken. I never thought I'd wake up and enter a nightmare.

(Ok i realise i've been quite bad to Yini on this blog. Sorry! But you're just too good not to blog about. don't hit me with those man-arms k?)

:)

Next.... >:(

Don't buy from the cheebye machine in the void deck please.
I just fucking wanted a milo, and it ripped 80 cents from me! Fucking hell.
I tried again, and it didn't work again so I lost $1.60 just like that.

So i fucking kicked the bitch machine.

Study or die!

2007-09-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

Tsk tsk tsk. The people in class really ought to get serious about their work!

Just look at the crapload of them!

BLATANTLY using her phone in class. I guarantee you that unlike her, my handphone is OFF (not even silent mode) during school hours. Yini, I want to see an improvement in your attitude, please.

This guy even better. How dare he treat the classroom as his bedroom, and the table, his napping tool!

Students these days show such horrible attitude. Always trying to skip classes, putting in minimal effort.

When I was studying in Holland when I was younger, I had to walk 20 miles to school in blinding snow storms! Consider yourselves lucky.

He'd better have a good explanation for this.

I mean, look at this. This is an example of a fine student, mugging out of class during his free time. Nice hair too.

This fella, on the other hand, is a true-blue rebel. His blatant head-on-table posture just shows his "I'm a jomer, I don't give a fuck" attitude.

And then there are the students who would whine about a stench in the classroom. Youth these days are such wussies!!!!

Grow up. A stint working at a windmill would do you loads of good, young man.
When I was working in Holland, on days where there wasn't any wind, I had to Fucking climb the windmill to spin the blades myself!!!!!!
This gentleman here seems spoilt and complacent, he looks like the type who has his own personal chauffeur. GROW UP WUSS.

Just shows how rotten the young generation have become.

Still..... No one is as bad as the unidentified motherfucker below.

On monday morning, while other students were hard at work in school, he had a nice, delicious, relaxing, satisfying, scrumptious, carefree breakfast at maccers!

And then, he casually strolled into school through the back gate at 10.30 am, 3 hours late, lying through his teeth to his teacher about some stomachache. How dare he act as if he is the center of the universe, and that he has the right to go around all the rules in place?!?!

I oughta slap him should I ever have the privilege of meet him.

2007-09-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

Had Class CIP today. We had to take old people who had mental problems to the Eewwater plant.

But before that we had to do 1 hour of flag day-ing. Which obviously, at 9 am on a saturday morning, meant.....

lounging around at maccers.

On our way back to the plave from Macs, there was this seriouslywhatthefuck woman...

BAH!!!!!!

Eewater plant was the shittiest waste of time ever. I'd much rather have tuition from Yan Xun or something.

Was freakin, freakin boring i can't take how sucky it was. The old motherfucker who was guiding us was damn longwinded lah. Bah. Eewater sucks lah, its just recycled piss. I CANT STAND HOW PROPAGANDA THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE (P)ISSSSSSS.

Oh YAY ENJOY WATER INDEED!!!!

The water is out to get me....

Here's what i think about our precious resource, bitch.

I hired Denise as my official photographer. She said she wasn't used to being paid for something other that the services she usually provides. ( U SLUT! :D )

YAYY ITS OVER!!! : D
First and LAST time there i swear.
The whole group also consisted of alot of tourist indians from india (duh). They were crowding up the place and like, dragging on the whole group lah, not to mention the lan jiao guide who took so freaking long to do anything.

After which we went to orchidville, which really is the most boring piece of shit in Sg. Honestly.

During the bus ride back, in deep thought

yini in deep meditation AGAIN.
One day i'll make a montage of Yini sleeping pics. That'll be good.

HAHAHA TAN GHEE ROCKS! he looks damn naughty. Everyone thinks he's the cutest person in class.

Finally had lunch with Yx, Elizabeth, Li ying and the 3 sluts at swensons today.

Denise looking slutty even when drinking lemonade.

Yini is such a mega slut, she sat opposite me on purpose. The following may or may not be a dramatization of what happened.

(food arrives)
Yini: MMMmmMMMmmmMM, it looks SSSsoooo good.
(Yini licks her chops seductively in my direction.)
(Yini bends forward to smell her food, in an attempt to reveal as much cleavage.)
Yini: OOOOhHhhHH, it smells wonderful....
(TK picks up his bread)
TK: Such a nice, firm, toasted slice of bread...
(Grips the bread hard and snaps it into two.)
Yini: Gasp!
(TK takes a vicious bite of the bread, the crunching sound noticed tables away.)
(TK licks his middle finger.)
(TK licks his index finger.)
(TK licks his thumb.)
Yini: Wow..... I've never had the company of somebody who eats with such... Such... Such gusto!
TK: And I've never had the company of a fair beauty quite like yourself.
Yini: Oh, you humour me, you! *Giggle*
(Yini takes a bite of the food.)
Yini: (short and sudden) Ooh! This is simply exquisite. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
TK: So tell me... What does a fine maiden like yourself look for in a man?
Yini: He does not have to look good. All I look for in a man, is proper finances. That, I think you cannot provide me.
TK: Touche, mon belle fille.
(TK snaps fingers.)
(A waiter scurries over)
TK: Waiter, i'll have a bottle of your finest 1877 Rouge Vin de la Rue Verge, Cabernet Sauvignon.
Yini: Oh, my.... Are you trying to impress me, dear sir.
TK: Madam, I do what any noble man would do.
(Yini picks up her spoon.)
(Yini slowly, seductively polishes her spoon clean with her long tongue, twirling it around the gleaming netal.)
Yini: Imagine what you could do with this tongue of mine....

hahahah i just can't write it anymore. i'll save this story for some other post.

Anyway today I realised I can be a man- tai tai!
Both Denise and Sheryl told me that their moms said I was good looking when they saw the class photos....

I OFFICIALLY ATTRACT AUNTIES!!!!

STACEY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON!
SHE'S ALL I WANT AND I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG.
STACEY CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE JUST NOT THE GIRL FOR ME,
I KNOW IT MAY BE WRONG BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH STACEY'S MOM.

Ok, so if you are a woman between 30 and 40, can afford to give me $5k mahjong-and-shopping- money a month, CALL ME.

I'll be waiting.... <3

2007-09-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

THATS IT THATS IT I NEED TO GO CHECK MY MENTAL HEALTH OK I NEED TO CHECK I NOT CRAZY I NEED CHECK MY THINKING THE TYPING IS INSANE ITS MAKING ME I FUCKING NOT BEEN ALLOWED WANTING BUT LONG TIME HAVE NONE HAPPY STICKS I YEARN.

For the last time stop inviting me to friendster or facebook, i had like 15 facebook invites in 2 days and its like deleting spam. What the hell people you don't need to join every fucking single online networking thing. I can understand if you want one. But come on.

I mean if i can get like 500 invites, which i think i have (so damn motherfucking popular), and not bother setting up any account, it shows how much it means to me. For the last time, i have a myspace profile with like 7 friends (including that bastard tom and 2 cybersluts) so if you wanna add me on that i'm fine. But of course, nobody in SG uses myspace, so.............

GO TO HELL I DON'T NEED YOUR SOCIAL NETWORK INVITATION TO FEEL GOOD BITCH. I GOT MY HAND AND MY 9 INCH NAIL BITCH.

Don't want friendster or hi5 or facebook or whatever crap!!!!!

2007-09-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Haven't been here, and exams coming. Not gonna blog for a while after this. So enjoy for now.

Anyway on monday, something really cool happened. Yini, empress of chinese, crashed chinese class as usual. Before the class, she came up to me and said, "Your chinese sucks, why don't you just give up and take B syllabus, you good looking dude!" Then she proceeded to grab a handful of mud, and threw it at my white shirt.

I was so hurt. And when denise saw what happened she cried,

going, "Poor, handsome, Tze Kiat. I feel so horrible for you!!! Lets go to the bus interchange near vivo so I can stand at the bus bay and put my hands up and look like a freak!"

hee hee.

During chinese lesson, lao shi decided to split us into groups of 3 or 4 to do a crossword puzzle. Denise's group SO cheated cos Yini helped them although she not a legitimate part of chinese class!

But being the natural leader I am, I told my group, "Team, we may be outnumbered, but we will fight the good fight and do our best, for the best is yet to be!"
My group of Elizabeth, Yan Xun and Hoi Yan could only stand in awe as they applauded my inspiring speech.

And the race began. We pored through the paper, doing our best to find the 4-letter words on it. As time ticked by, we could tell it was a close competition, and that all the groups were almost deadlocked. Finally, when it came to the last one, all the teams scratched their heads. It was impossible!

After a while, that bimbo dorotthy's group found the answer. And it became a fight for pride between me and yini. Looking through the paper again, i anyhow just whack something, asking, "Lao shi, shi bu shi (insert the answer here, i forgot already.) "

Time seemed to stop..... Finally, lao shi nodded her head, signalling the end of the dogfight. I had emerged victorius. My team lifted me onto their shoulders as they paraded me around the classroom.

"TZE KIAT, TZE KIAT, TZE KIAT!" the entire class chanted.

"IN YOUR FACE YINI!!!!!" I shouted as we went passed her. This was all too much for poor yini to take. She let out a piercing roar, ripped her hair clip out, and threw her bag onto the wall, and proceeded to stomp on it, screaming, "EVERLAST, I HATE I HATE I HATE YOUEVERLAST !!! AAAAAAAHHHHH! WHY MUST I LOSE TO THAT GOOD LOOKING TZE KIAT WHO'S GOT BRAINS TO BACK UP HIS BRAWN (263 for PSLE)!!! WHY!!!!!????"

I proceeded to shake her hand, but all yini could do was let out another scream, and ran, cursing, out of the classroom, never to be seen again.

Until she was spotted sleeping during GP lesson.

She's not the only one sleepy....

Tan Ghee sleeping during health talk today. that's the way man!

He was super funny today, after math lecture, i asked him, "Who is our bio lecturer today?"

His reply was a very steady and certain, "YA YA YA!"

HAHAHAHAHAH he is like the most unintentionally funny person i know ok!

Muahahahahaha. Hubert.

Mr Ong rox my sox. He's a momma's boy!!!!!

He accused me of procrastinating and not exercising!!!!!!! I was so distressed, after eating during recess, i went to the toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat and proceeded to puke to make myself feel better.

If you're wondering why he's wheeling tennis racquets around, its cos that's his training regimen to strengthen his muscular legs.

haha thats all for now i guess.

Note: All storylines might or might not be fictional and any character resemblance to people, dead or alive, is purely coincidental.